Deb Fischer Opening Statement - 2024 Nebraska Primary Debates
Scott: Welcome back to the 2024 Nebraska Primary Debates and now another opening statement from an incumbent Imbecile, the old slow mindless windbag, Debbie Downer Fischer.
Debbie Downer: I’ll never be too old to be a Senator.
Chris: She talks slow because she doesn’t have anything to say.
Gary: She talks slow because she can’t remember what to say.
Lucy: She talks slow because she’s too old and her mind is gone.
Rosie: Age is just a number but I can’t count that high.
Emory: She ages like scrap iron left out in the rain.
Ian: I can’t wait to be as old as her because you don’t get in trouble anymore for pooping in your pants.
Chris: She’s so old she watches the History Channel to see if she’s on it.
Gary: She’s so old she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Emory: She’s so old her birth certificate is written on a stone tablet
Lucy: She’s so old when she was in high school they didn’t have history class.
Rosie: She’s so old her birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake.
Ian: She’s so old when she was a kid she had a pet dinosaur.
Scott: Well there you have it folks Debbie Downer is really old and out of touch with Nebraskans, and reality.
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