Donald Trump NY Trial - Biden's Uncle Cannibalized - Netanyahu's Video

Donald Trump is facing the judicial system in his hush money trial in New York. He is under fire for apparently having paid Stormy Daniels to not reveal and affair they had in 2006, which could have jeopardized his 2016 presidential campaign. Although arguably the person who has been most under fire since the beginning of this trial has been Max Azzarello, outside the courthouse. The former president's team is worried that these allegations of him having had an affair and then lying about it, may harm Trump's long-held image as an honest family man.

In other news, Joe Biden was apparently caught lying when he claimed his uncle, a WW2 pilot, had been shot down in Papua New Guinea and then eaten by cannibals. According to most experts this would support recent studies that suggest that senile old people and politicians sometimes lie. The leader of Papua New Guinea took offense to the comments and replied "Mr. Biden I believe you are mixing up the stories about your uncle's death in WW2 and your holidays at the Bohemian Grove"

Moving to the Middle East, shocking revelations are coming to light when a video of PM Netanyahu has surfaced in which he describes how he would carry a campaign of terror in Palestine with full American support. When pressed on the issue, Pentagon Press Secretary John Kirby stated "It is absolutely despicable, this just goes to show that there is no decency in the world anymore, and that there is absolutely no interest in resolving this conflict. I mean... PM Netanyahu clearly asked the reporter to turn the camera off. The reporter should be ashamed of himself for his incendiary actions."

Music: Just Breaking by David Fesliyan