These 10 Self-help Myths Will Destroy Your Life

MYTH You can learn from your mistakes
FACT You are very likely to repeat your behaviors throughout your lifespan (repetition compulsion).

MYTH Change is possible
FACT Meaningful transformation is nearly impossible after age 25.

MYTH Your partner’s past doesn’t matter, only her present behavior
FACT Your partner’s past is your future. Past behaviors and misconduct are sure predictors of future behaviors and misconduct.

MYTH Trauma is an objective experience
FACT Trauma is a subjective, endogenous (psychegenic) reaction. It has little to do with reality, which serves only as a trigger.

MYTH Love and time cure all
FACT In many - maybe most - cases, love and time result in losses, heartbreak, and hurt.

MYTH Sex empowers
FACT Only in the minority of cases and during limerence. Mostly, sex leads to regret, shame, anger, self-loathing, ennui, disgust, and dissonance. This is true even among men and even in committed relationships!

MYTH Having multiple choices empowers
FACT Choice creates anxiety, withdrawal, and avoidance. People hate choice. They want to be spoonfed out of a limited menu of options.

MYTH Parents and their children should be besties, friends
FACT Good parenting requires boundaries, hierarchy, and discipline - the exact opposite of friendship.