NIH Honcho Alfred Johnson Hanged After Getting Pranked Whitmer-Style by Marines

Former NIH Deputy Director Alfred Johnson was hanged Wednesday at Camp Blaz, but only after Marine escorts closely mimicked a prank GITMO MPs had pulled on Gretchen Whitmer in June—misleading her into believing that Adm. Crandall found exculpatory evidence clearing her of all charges and ordered her immediate release.

It seems word gets around, carried on some ethereal military echelon.

At 9:00 a.m. Wednesday, the Marines retrieved a forlorn Johnson from his cell and told him pResident Biden and NIH Director Monica M. Bertagnolli had orchestrated his return to the continental United States. They told Johnson about being part of a more extensive exfiltration operation with a skiff at the docks, ready to launch. Moreover, the Marines said Biden had arranged for a Navy destroyer to ferry Johnson home. The skiff, they said, would carry him to the destroyer.

The Marines told Johnson that time was of the essence, for the ‘real Marines’ would arrive soon to hustle him to the gallows.

“They did this for me?” Johnson said incredulously. “I was told I’m expendable. I guess they really need me. We better hurry, then.”

Johnson hesitated once more when the Marines blindfolded him. “How can I see where I’m going?”

“We’ll lead. We need to blindfold you to avoid suspicion. If you want to live, we go now,” Johnson was told.

Johnson couldn’t see that a half dozen other Marines had flanked either side of the cell corridor and were struggling to hold their laughter as their brothers steered him outside toward an idling Hummer.

“I’m glad you guys got here. What took you so long?” Johnson said.

“Shut up. We’re paid to get you out of here, not talk,” a Marine said.

After driving for a few minutes, one Marine asked the other if he thought someone was tailing them.

“Nah, we’re in the clear,” the Marine in the passenger seat said. “Hey, Johnson, is it true what they say? You did biological warfare experiments on people? Not like it makes a difference to us.”

“The homeless aren’t people,” Johnson said.

“Man, that’s cold-blooded. We’re almost there,” the driver said.

The Hummer stopped. The Marines removed Johnson’s blindfold. The stygian gallows loomed before him, and he seemed benumbed.

“Aww, f***,” Johnson said as the Marines chuckled.

After exiting the vehicle, Johnson informed Rear Admiral Wilson, the execution’s maestro, that “deceitful” Marines had tricked him and he should, therefore, be released.

“We will deal with them later, but you fell for it. Doesn’t say much for the Deep State’s intelligent,” the admiral said.

The execution continued as scheduled. Johnson refused Last Rites. His final words—“You’ll pay for this”—barely escaped his lips as the floor fell from under him.

A Guam source told Real Raw News that the pranksters would likely receive little more than a formal reprimand and 60 days of latrine duty for exercising puerile behavior.

“We don’t condone it. It’s unbecoming of a Marine and undisciplined. But they’re human too; they get wound up, lapses in judgment. I guess they figured whatever punishment came their way would be a small price to pay for pranking a truly horrible individual. Unofficially speaking, he was going to hang anyway, so what’s the harm?”

https://realrawnews.com/2024/01/nih-honcho-alfred-johnson-hanged-after-getting-pranked-whitmer-style-by-marines/