Chapter 37 "The Spirit of Cricket" - An upside down journal from the 2023 Ashes

"Well I've just been stung by a wasp!"
"How's your day going?"

Surprisingly after such a rude interruption, this is one of my more accomplished readings from a lengthy chapter as we journey from scurrilous rumours to fish and chips beside the River Severn, and Australia are seemingly in charge on Day 1 of the fifth and final Ashes Test Match of 2023.

An extract from this chapter follows, together with a link to a self-published book I'm immensely proud of and other ways and means of supporting me, if you are able, to thumb the eye of traditional publishers who refused to read my original manuscript!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CF4FRKSH

https://www.patreon.com/TheBlackfordBookClub
https://www.paypal.me/TheBlackfordBookClub
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/steveblackford

"Prologue: Scurrilous Rumours

After calling “Tails” for the fifth consecutive time, Australian captain Pat Cummins finally called the pre-game coin toss correctly and had no hesitation whatsoever in asking England to bat first. Perhaps it was the muggy and cloudy overhead conditions so conducive to swing and fast bowling that swayed his decision, but rather I believe it to be a decision born out of the frustration of England constantly being able to bowl first, setting the tone for the match and ultimately the run chase for victory.

Surprisingly, there was only one team change from the washed out draw of Old Trafford last week with Aussie spin bowler Todd Murphy replacing the all-round talents of Cameron Green whilst England remained unchanged for a game and a Test Match everyone is seemingly desperate not to label this game the “dead rubber” it clearly is. With Australia holding a 2–1 lead entering this fifth and final Test Match and being the holders of the precious urn of ashes, they will retain ownership come what may in five days time.

If we have another washed out draw (the long range weather looks horrendous come Sunday into Monday), they win the series 2–1. If they win here at The Oval (and they’ve made an incredibly positive and big first step in doing so today), then they win 3–1, but even if England can winkle out their batting line-up twice (looking highly unlikely) and chase down the required runs for victory (which I hope they do), the series will still be tied 2–2 and Australia will still be in possession of the smallest trophy in all sports.

So it’s not a dead rubber of a Test Match.

But it is really.

Anyway, talking of scurrilous rumours, the sexiest voice in all of cricket returned to the Sky TV microphones today and for that, I’m truly thankful. Don’t believe the rumours that I and I alone have circulated that Mel Jones missed last week’s Test Match at Old Trafford so we could be together for a long awaited love tryst on a remote island off the coast of Malta. Rather than watching the rain fall in Manchester we were in fact basking in the Mediterranean sunshine, laughing away our cares amid a temperature rising love affair which I believe has skirted under the radar of English and Australian tabloid newspapers alike. By the time this becomes public knowledge, Mel and I will no doubt have run away from the media glare of publicity and set up a love-nest on the island of The Azores and I’ll radiate not in the glow of constant sunshine but in the sexiest goddamn voice cricket has ever had, even usurping her compatriot from Australia, the one and only, Jim Maxwell.

I could listen to Mel reading the Wisden Almanack and if the rumours I’m circulating are true, maybe one day she will.

Just keep this trusted information under your baggy green caps until at least the end of this Test Match please?".

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