I’m concerned about my husband’s secretive spending habits

We have struggled a bit with finances because I came into the marriage with much more, financially, so after a few years we decided to open a joint account.

I was excited to begin this commingling because it would establish more of a team approach to our future goals.

Well, after three months I am realizing that he’s spent well over what he has contributed (contributing $8,000, but spent $14,000) and this is now creating more challenges.

He is refusing to tell me what he spent this money on and is making me feel irrational that I am concerned about this.

The purpose originally was to help me with bigger bills that pop up because I pay all the major bills (house, taxes, insurance, cars) and he only pays health insurance (which I am grateful for).

This was the first three months of experiencing commingling and now he’s saying he refuses to come off of the account. He is threatening that my scrutiny marks the demise of our relationship.

I’m worried because I know that finances can often create the biggest issues in relationships, so I’m hoping for some guidance.

I’m not sure what to do at this point. Do you have any suggestions?

– Wondering Wife