If you are brave enough to say goodbye

Originally uploaded: December 24th, 2022

YouTube Link: https://youtube.com/shorts/e68c5S3uCAo

YouTube Description: (Lets stay on Rumble thooo).

Here's another secret of mine.

Are you brave enough to let things go that no longer serve you? For me personally this was very difficult. And it hurt like hell.

One of the reasons why I didnt go with IU originally because so many of my family was there and being the only child, I'm used to and usually take my own path. But after my experiences I'm like you know what, rooting for IU isn't bad at all. It's been an adjustment and hasn't been easy, especially when you're thinking that you're going to identify one way your whole life. Cognitive Dissonance. (Mom ain't happy with it but she will get over it. Here's to being called the traitor word, love ya mom. We can joke like that.)

Boilermaker friends I love you but this has been a long time coming. It hasn't worked for a long time, I would be stupid af to keep pretending & fronting appearances. It was made clear to me on many different levels that I didn't matter too many times throughout the years. If you do come on over to the Bloomington side sometime, they are a lot of fun, and I'll be that Hoosier buddy for you.. They are wild, enthusiastic. And friendly to strangers. The ones I run into at basketball games struck up a random conversation. I'm like I'm a new stranger, and they treat me like I've been a Hoosier for years.
When my first group of friends passed, I went to Chicago & Bloomington. There's something about spending time and living other places for a bit when the unthinkable happens that's refreshing and healing. I'm very good at hiding things and the people I was with had no earthly idea how much pain I was in and the weight I carry. Thank you Chicagoans and Hoosiers for always being nice, here lately I've been closed off (don't take it personally. December has been a month these past few years when a lot of people in my life passed. I like y'all, but I like being quiet too.)

I don't care about what others care about. I don't want what other people want. I don't care about a new car, I wish I had my friends and loved ones that passed back. And I'm on no one's timeline. My biggest thing is you don't want to live your existence on this earth in a negative vibration. Or living to impress other people. I was very unhappy for many years because I followed the life script.

I said goodbye to things that crushed my soul, and said hello to things and places that brought me joy.

Love ya,

Your empathetic friend Alesha