Can We Remain Friends With Those Who Apostatize?

Consider the following sermons by Dr. Caldwell to help deepen your understanding of apostasy and strengthen you as you seek to encourage and exhort others to remain faithful in their walk with Christ:

A People Prepared for Perilous Times: https://youtu.be/9xAAFv0RQv4
Continuing With Christ: https://youtu.be/OGu_0UT6eng
Four Kinds of Hearers - Part 1: https://youtu.be/9pe7joNf3CY
Four Kinds of Hearers - Part 2: https://youtu.be/QiPxx9J7IWQ
The Believer's Response to Apostasy: https://youtu.be/rY2rl1w4_3I
The Purity of the Church: https://youtu.be/LB4zvsUz7Q4
Understanding Apostasy: https://youtu.be/0paCLYjC_9w
The Tragedy of Apostasy: https://youtu.be/h00B62O0mfs

Apostasy is the unthinkable tragedy of someone walking away from Jesus, away from the Christian faith, in denial of the truth. Apostasy doesn't just happen to people or persons we don’t know. Sometimes, that someone who walks away was someone we once walked with in our journey as we came to know Christ. Sometimes, it’s someone we’ve grown up with, someone we’ve gone through a lot with, someone we know very well, someone we love very much. Apostasy is a grave matter, literally a matter of eternal life and death. What can we do when this happens with people we know well and love? What do we do when it’s a good friend who doesn’t go to our church? Can we remain friends with those who turn away from the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints? Join us this week to listen to this discussion on the Straight Truth Podcast between Dr. Josh Philpot and Dr. Richard Caldwell. They consider and explain the seriousness and sobering truth regarding apostasy and what we can do for those we love and care about who go out from the Christian faith.
Dr. Caldwell shares that the passage that comes to mind is from Jude, so he shares verses 17 to 23, commenting as he goes along. Jude writes to believers, appealing to them to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints. In the verses Dr. Caldwell shares, Jude addresses three kinds of persons who are drifting and three different ways believers should respond when we see them straying from this. The first is to have mercy on some who are doubting. These are expressing some form of doubt but haven’t yet strayed away. We are to come alongside to encourage and exhort them. The second is to save others by snatching them out of the fire. These individuals are on the brink, on the edge of the precipice, and we need to take immediate action, grabbing hold of them to snatch them out of their nearness to destruction. Thirdly, Jude tells us to have mercy on some with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh. This third kind of person is dangerous, and they are a dangerous influence. And if they're a church member where church discipline is exercised, then that process will be pursued. But even as this is undertaken, as Jude says, we have mercy with fear, loving them and longing to see them delivered out of their error.
In any of these three situations where we might have someone we love and care about who is drifting or has already strayed, and they don't attend our church, we want to try to maintain contact to have opportunities for speaking into their lives with the truth of God’s Word. Apostasy is not final until someone is dead. We just need to be careful because the nearness of that relationship can be dangerous on multiple levels. As we remain friendly with them, we cannot act as if consequential things are not consequential. We cannot continue to hang out and do stuff with them, treating them like nothing has happened and as if it’s no big deal. Those who apostatize can be very influential as they share their story of ‘deconstructing’ and how they’ve emerged with a new perspective on their once-held faith. When we place ourselves in close proximity with someone who denies the tenets and doctrines of the Christian faith, it can negatively impact us. We are all not as mature as others, and this can be especially dangerous to a young believer in the faith, whose foundations aren’t very deep yet. Another thing to consider is there are also consequences with respect not just to us individually but to the people associated with and tied to us. Therefore, we want to tread very carefully around those who apostatize.
As we think about that last kind of person, whom Jude says to have mercy on with fear, he also says we are to do this, ‘hating’ even the garment polluted by the flesh. When we think about caring for and loving those who have apostatized, we want to remember that our friendship and any loyalty we might have to them is not just identified by our love but also by hatred. We need to have a hatred for what will destroy them. Our love for Christ is not just identified by our love for Christ Himself and the things that are true regarding Him; there also needs to be a holy hatred for what attacks Him and dishonors Him.