#Apologizing can be a helpful tool in #resolving #disputes between reasonable people. However, when

#Apologizing can be a helpful tool in #resolving #disputes between reasonable people. However, when dealing with #high-#conflict #individuals, it becomes more complex. High-conflict individuals often have a pattern of behavior that includes #blaming others, #allornothing #thinking, #unmanaged emotions, and #extremebehaviors that often offend others. These individuals may also have traits of #personalitydisorders, such as borderline, #narcissistic, #antisocial, and #histrionic personality #disorders.

People with #borderlinpersonality traits often have wide #mood #swings and intense anger towards their romantic partners, #familymembers, #coworkers, and neighbors, leading to conflicts where others set limits on them. They cannot see their part in the problem and are often offended by this. People with #narcissisticpersonality traits often have an #arrogant and #demeaning #attitude toward those around them, which can turn into #conflicts where the other people are tempted to insult or ignore them. People with #antisocial #personality traits can be #aggressive and frequently lie about almost anything, intimidating those around them and leading to challenges of their #truthfulness, which may also offend them.

#Reasonable #people should not apologize for reasonable behavior, as this encourages unrealistic expectations from those with high-conflict personalities and rewards them for their inappropriate behavior. On the other hand, reasonable people can also be offended by the inappropriate behavior of high-conflict people and demand that they apologize for their truly offensive behavior. However, this is very unlikely to happen, as high-conflict people lack the ability to reflect on their own behavior and feel justified in whatever they have done.

To avoid an #apology #standoff, there are generally two approaches: #focus on the #future and discuss what can be done in a similar situation. One approach is to accept that the #highconflictperson may never apologize and let go of that as a demand. One may instead choose to steer clear of that person in the future or lower one's expectations for how they will behave in any relationship.

When #mediating a #conflict, it is helpful to start the discussion by saying that we are going to focus on the future rather than mediate the past. If one person demands an apology and the other does not instantly give it, you can say, "Actually, apologies are about the past, and this discussion is about what to do going forward. We can't change the past, but we can choose the future. What do you propose we do in a similar situation in the future?" This approach nips the stand-off in the bud and has proven effective in many mediations.

#Parental #alienation is a common issue in #divorcecases where a #child #resists or #refuses contact with a #parent during and after a #divorce, often without the rejected parent being abusive or inadequate as a parent. This can be considered an intentional campaign by the favored parent against the rejected parent, pushing that parent out of the child's life. However, there are many cases where the #favoredparent is highly anxious about the separation or divorce but generally not angry or trying to eliminate the other parent. Some have been excessively tearful and others have even shared their bed with the child for reassurance, where the child absorbs the parent’s emotional distress. Such parents are unable to manage their emotions and lack #emotionalboundaries, which can have a powerful influence on the #child, yet the parent is #unaware.

#Emotions are #contagious, and research shows that emotions are passed from one person to the next often unconsciously. Our right brain enables us to read the subjective states of others through its appraisal of subtle facial expressions and other forms of nonverbal communication. Emotional contagion is defined as the tendency to automatically mimic and synchronize others’ facial expressions, vocalizations, postures, […]