Does a mentor control the mentee? With Lighthouse International Head Mentor Paul Stephen Waugh

Lighthouse International Chairman Paul Waugh goes into detail about why would we fear being controlled by a mentor coach and the importance of having a mentor in our lives to help us empower ourselves through our choices.

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Transcript Highlights:
-People in our world today are struggling to find their own identity, their own independence, and in a world where there is a lot of branding and same-same, uniqueness, ability to stand out and be different in some way. The last thing they want to do after working in a corporate or working in an organisation where they’re largely told what to do is someone else now coming and telling them what to do. And sort of controlling them in some way, them losing their sense of self, or their sense of identity. Their own sense of governance.

-In that question as well ought to be, people finding themselves in a position where they lose their sense of self because they’re now not what they thought they were. That through this process somehow, their image of themselves, will be somewhat diminished because now they’ve actually learned that they’ve imagined they were further ahead than they were and now all of sudden through this mentorship process they realise that actually they’re not.

-So it all boils down to losing their sense of self that they may be learning through that, something about themselves that they don’t want to hear.

My answer to that is twofold, the first is this, first be willing to be wrong, in order to truly be right. When you’re so busy trying to be right, even though you’re wrong, you stay ineffective, you stay high and mighty in your head or important in your head, or whatever in your head, and in your heart but in reality you don’t actually have the ability to back it up.

-Until I truly became committed and really willing to be wrong, in order to be truly right meaning, correct, dealing with reality. Not dealing with my own fantasy and my own fiction, being willing to feel small for a little while in order to genuinely grow big. To really reduce the level of nonsense, the level of fiction, the level of ego, the level of unreality.

-So that’s the first part, that’s a big question you asked. Are you ready for the second part?
The second part is this, the control element, being controlled, losing your identity through being controlled. Well, if you're concerned about losing your identity through being controlled, it means that you fear, inside somewhere, that you have your own lack of identity rooted very deeply at all. It means that you don’t back yourself to not lose yourself, because another human being is somehow controlling you. If you're in that position where you fear that, then I absolutely assure you you’re being controlled now. And you're being controlled anyway. Get that. I’ll explain that, but before I explain that I want to just reiterate something. I want to be able to say this to you Milan, is this, when you are in a situation in a genuine life coaching, genuine mentorship coaching situation with us at Lighthouse, what we’re doing is helping human beings, other than get the awareness to find it themselves, and to come up with the answers themselves, to actually gain control of themselves, not for us to gain control of you. But for you to gain control, because that's where your power is, and if we’re going to, as mentors, help you achieve your goals, then our responsibility is not only just to help you think well, feel well, eat well, look well, be well, but to raise your level of conscious awareness to a point of that you own enough of yourself that you know you’ll never lose it. That’s a powerful statement to make and it’s true.

-Are you able to wake up in the morning and decide to be happy and be happy all day, irrelevant of what happens?

If you wake up in the morning and you say today, Milan, I’m gonna wake up and i’m going to go out there and I’m going to be happy all day, I’m gonna be happy, peaceful and joyful, as a human being, I’m not going to be stressed, unhappy and miserable. Like I was yesterday.

-And the first thing someone out there does, you can feel the resistance. You start to get that feeling of being a little bit peeved and then a lot peeved and then angry and then irritable and then everyone's in your way and then you’re late and then you’re stressed. Out the window that goes. Who's controlling you?

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