"The Coronation of Mr. Thomas Shap" by Lord Dunsany

I can certainly relate to Mr. Shap...

The picture used is an illustration by Sidney Sime in the 1912 edition of "The Book of Wonder".

To follow along: https://www.gutenberg.org/files/7477/7477-h/7477-h.htm#THE_CORONATION_OF_MR_THOMAS_SHAP