Apparent: Call Waiting

Webb to Northam: “Did You Know That Liberty University Is Actually More Competitive than VMI, and Both Are More Competitive Than Peekaboo VCU?”

[FOB FREEDOM, September 8, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Reporting live from the world's newest banana republic. . .

In March of 2019, before feeling distant from God, one lively Alexandria pastor, currently in apparently much-needed mental health therapy, and a defendant in a case brought under the FACE Act, had not quite followed the example of one new pastor, dedicating five consecutive Sundays to examining four chapters, 48 verses and a big fish, but rather decided to let his participants in an hour of power know that he had not only moved into a new tax bracket, where he can now enjoy Montblanc pens, and an appointment with the fairway, but, back in the days when he was a Pentecostal, was not a stranger to the streets of Chicago, giving a little Motown rhythm on a sermon titled: I’m Coming Out. Who knew by the end of that year he’d be burnt out and on hiatus, and now running faster than Jonah from the jurisdiction of the federal court? And, while folks at Alfred Street Baptist may not know, but certainly folks at First Baptist of Alexandria know, especially after a sufficient exposure to provide an infectious dose: whenever you want to run away from the Lord, the Devil will always have a boat ready to take you wherever in Hell you want to go. And taking a cue from The Satanic Temple, which had announced exceeding 700,000 registered members during a pandemic, while Christianity sharply declined by half of what it had lost in the prior decade. And, here with the story is NOVA’s local itinerate preacher who hasn’t yet taken up the sandals look.

“Well, Howard, as you know, I’m still paying on that broken stained glass window, and I wholly understand old Lucifer’s feelings about having to follow rules. Where he got the idea that his majority could defeat omnipotence I can only say the math didn’t go quite the way it went in his head, kind of like our 40% who thought they could thought they were VCU. Peekaboo; ICU. Any who. And, I had hoped that perhaps they might find the salvation of education at a school like Liberty University, the college our scientists thought was a riot I had attended. We even had one Washington-Liberty alumnus at the renaming meeting saying Lynchburg Baptists didn’t have a monopoly on liberty, but that is also the same fella who thought his football coach was giving him a compliment when he would say, ‘What? Do you think?’ But as it turns out they would have a better chance at getting into Doctor Ralph Northam’s alma mater that helped him get into a medical school with, shall we say, some great masks for parties—and the last option for hitting Grenada for Virginia pre-meds, by the way? Imagine a 64% chance of becoming a Keydet? Just above the threshold of a highly contagious disease. No wonder they still don’t have lights in their football stadium, and obviously the kids of our government scientists ain’t gonna be able to help them see the light. Any who. I’m offering The Satanic Temple deal on exemptions, but for education. If you want a good education you can accept Christ into your life, or go on with your bad self, with all the abortions you can handle. And, if you thought you had a good chance of catching the most transmissible variant yet, clocking in at 42.1%, I’m confident our readers of The Atlantic could tell you that your chances of becoming a Champion for Christ are better, at about the chances of winning a coin toss. Do the MAFF. Dog. As the Brothas say,” remarked Major Mike Webb.

Next week, bounding from his not newsworthy appearance at the Uptown Klan Candidate Forum, Webb moves on to go head to head again with Delegate Alfonso Lopez at the “NCAA” online virtual candidate forum, lagging behind even Black Church on their return to in-person worship, and yet these champions of climate change apparently can’t do the MAFF to get into Howard, finding an 86% failure rate, if you can “pronouns” that. The national headquarters for the NAACP had declared a moratorium on public charter schools, and Webb had felt the wrath of the NOVA Urban League back in 2017 during his race for the Arlington Public School Board, as the audience pounded him with questions for 15 minutes, the longest Q&A during the entire evening, getting more time than even the Democrat nominees for Governor, Lieutenant Governor and Attorney General. However, it is still uncertain why the reporter at the Alexandria Connection had titled the article, “God Shed His Grace on Thee.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.