Killer Spiders in Georgia! It's "Kiss of the Tarantula" on HiH!

Did your mom ever put a hit on your dad? Did a gang of 50-year-old teenagers ever attack you in a mortuary so they could use a casket for a prank? Did one of those teenagers stomp your beloved pet to death? If so, we know just the quasi murderess who can help you return such morbid favors!

Meet Susan. She’s a spider enthusiast and is the object of every creepy uncle’s eye. Okay, maybe just the one creepy uncle, but homeboy was having an affair with Susan’s mom before he set eyes on his niece. #CreepyAF

Susan’s got 99 problems but murder ain’t one. This hot town loner possesses a literal army of tarantulas who can magically kill anyone they touch. Minus Susan, of course. No biting necessary with these supernatural spiders!

In all seriousness, this movie makes no sense. The gist is that if you try to harm Susan in any fashion, you will experience death by spider. Does this qualify as murder? We don’t know! Join Darth, Jason, and two-dimensional Adam for a loopy discussion of Kiss of the Tarantula!

But wait, the spiders never actually bit anyone…