"My Neighbor Has A Sexy Secret" Sleazy Lifetime Movie Vintage Commercial (Lost Media)

Whenever I see a Lifetime thing all I hear in my head is "SEXY RESULTS" from that Simpsons episode where they release all the soap opera secrets and Marge just writes down "sexy results" and then underlines it three times. Why does everyone keep asking if I have autism?
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Recap/TheSimpsonsS11E16Pygmoelian

My Neighbor's Secret is only rated 4.2 on IMDB, but it rates a 10 in our hearts. The acting is real bad, but it looks like everyone was having a good time. I would totally be in a Lifetime movie if they still made them. I would want to play the villain or evil brother/father/uncle/milkman or something. Yeah I could be the evil milkman. I am seeking revenge on the town of Milkford falls because my son went missing and the town didn't do enough to find him.

I was once a powerful banking CEO (but no one knows this) but I was brought low with alcoholism and my marriage and job fell apart. So because my son (who's is only referred to as Junior, because that's pretty stupid like in that show Under the Dome. Don't even get me started about Under the Dome.) was on the back of a milk carton, I took a job as a milkman. Soon my fiendish plan to sour all the milking cows of Milkford Falls will come to fruition. But wait. A stunningly attractive single mom moves to Milkford falls on her grandfather's old estate and starts milk delivery for her and her "son" (hint hint). She comments on how good the milk is in Milkford Falls, and I feel a tinge of guilt. Oh wait, I didn't name my character yet. I'll be Mordechai. Mordechai the milkman. That sounds about right. Anyway, back to the story.

So... oh wait I didn't name the lady. Lets call her...Linda Hamilton. No wait, that was the lady from terminator. Ok, give me a minute. Madison Chandler. Madison is a great name. I don't know where the trend of naming girls after former presidents started, but I really don't like it. No offense if your name is Madison, Jefferson, Hamilton, Jackson, Kennedy, McKinley, or Monroe.(https://cafemom.com/parenting/180704-baby_girl_names_presidents_patriotic)

Anyway, Maddie and Mordecai have an awkward meeting where she can't find her checkbook and he meanders around the living room and rummages around the boxes. He notices in the older pictures of Madison, there is no young child... She comes back with the check and they share an awkward exchange. Like sexually awkward. Will they or won't they? (will).

So this is the part of the Lifetime movie where they meander around town. She is around town and they're talking about Mordecaie making fun of him at the local grocery store. Saying they have to stock plenty of malt liqour 40s for Morecaieh. He's an odd bird. He double fists 2 40's everyday after delivering milk before he hits the hard stuff (Arisocrat Vodka). Madison sees that 40's of Steele Reserve and asks why they're not in the fridge. The Greek store clerk says (in a heavily fake Greek accent like in that Thor movie) "A customer likes em hot." As soon as says that Mordacai walks in and checks out Madison. She giggles. The greek guy as a witty line. (We'll have to workshop it later).

She just about finishes up and is checking out. Moreaichiai is embarrassed, but brings up his Steele Reserves (8.1% ABV). She feels pity (AND AROUSAL) for him. He comes up behind her in the checkout line. "Having a drink with dinner? I bet your wife is tired of milk". "I'm divorced Ms (last name)." "Oh,' She said. "And you can call me Madison. "Well Madison, I'm divorced, after our son disappeared...why am I telling you this." He stops himself. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarass you" she said. He says nothing back. She dispondantly turns away. She checks out and walks towards her car. She makes an awkward look back.

She starts putting her stuff in her car when Mordacahi comes out. Madison goes up to him and apologizes again. "It's fine" he says like a typical man. She eyes the bag and look his his sad (sexy ;)) eyes. "Come to dinner with us," she said. "I don't want to have dinner with you and your kid," he said. "Johnny is with my sister tonight. She's taking him to a movie while I get the house set up." "I'm not taking no for an answer."

ok blah blah they have dinner sex and become gf/bf. Things go well, but he's still going to sour all the cows milk. Things continue to go well and he changes his mind. He decides he's going to give love a chance. He's spending all his time and Milk Money with maddison. Then the day comes where he's moved in and putting up pictures and realizes there are zero pictures of young Johnny. He also has a strong bond to Johnny, even though he's just his step guy his mom is sleeping with. Then one day...(Continued in part 2 ***LINK***)

Recorded 2009.