"EVEN IF" MercyMe DOVE AWARDs VERSION & Bart Millard SINGER/SONGWRITER 1 Minute testimony

My Witness of JESUS' saving GRACE, by Randy.
This is my, "Doubting My Salvation" story, with genuine REPENTANCE required; eventual HAPPY ENDING. Tabernacle of David SON, is my new work in Christ.
"EVEN IF" is a song written by Bart Millards of MercyMe; when he had a bad day. It lead to my healing from a lingering, 1982, post-traumatic stress event. My 40 year ago Christian trial by fire, was an acute overwhelming fear of God, and years of FAITH uncertainty, because of extreme fear about, "falling from grace". "EVEN IF" the Lord didn't rescue me, while crying to Jesus obsessively, I tried to cling to any promise I could find, in the Bible, by my own strength.
Unknowingly, using up my measure of faith entirely on worry, my faith meter dropped to empty, like a tank of automotive gasoline. I was ship wrecked, and I completely collapsed because my trial was more than I thought, "God would place on anyone". Though I collapsed like Jesus did carrying His cross, The LORD acted like Simon of Cyrene, He carried me. EVEN IF, I became faithless, The LORD remained faithful, through many years this trial consumed, in the 1980's.
Raised in 1960'S "GREENS"boro, NC and "Born again" in 1976 with a Moses mountain top Easter day FAITH experience. Somehow I BELIEVED and CONFESSED Christ as LORD, without, REPENTANCE, a step that John the Baptist lost his head over. In this pride of my salvation experience, I knew I was saved, by Grace, but I didn't know I would require so much, Truly Amazing Grace.
Years later in 1981, I experienced, quite willingly, Water Baptism, in "BROWNS"ville, KY. An act I discovered is essentially being buried into the death of Christ, though I was still uninformed; that I was still slightly, "UNREPENTANT". Get the picture, sinful guy wants to be like Sinless JESUS. What a paradox.
Beloved, thus came my unknowing trial of fire, while mercury poisoned, from required open bottle, dental amalgam, mercury dispensers in a U.S. Public Heath Service, in a 1980's dental office. I was becoming, part of the epidemic of dentists, mercury poisoned, that the (ADA) American Dental Assoc. and even the U.S. deep state government, that I was employed by, had spent 100 years, allegedly, criminally, ignoring, and covering up. Surviving is another story.
My act of genuine return to my first love, The LORD, came in 2014, my act of repentance was in "ASHE"BORO, NC! It was a weeping, pleading, moment confession, "Father God forgive me, for all my disobedience, but specifically for ignoring your guiding 1976 WORD, "Do not go to dental school, I have another plan for you"."
Well, in SEPT. 1976, I was leaving for the first day of dental school class, with no sure plan to stay. My dad of this world, was so proud, hoping I would become a dentist. So; obeying EARTHY DAD above HEAVENLY FATHER, I did not drop out. OMG.
On the first day of dental school we were told, "welcome to the number one dental school in America. Do you realize the career you have chosen, has the highest, ALCOHOL, SUICIDE, and DIVORCE rate." Now I know the DEVIL in the details is MERCURY DENTISTRY. Americans have toxic mercury in their teeth, mercury vaporizes; body temperature. Doubters go to IAOMT.org. Dental office=mercury HAZMAT.
On that day, against the LORD's guidance, I stayed; and pursued a 33 year dental career JUDGEMENT. Daily broken thermometer equivalent doses of mercury from SILVER AMALGAM. Mercury UNAWARE THEN, I stayed for the challenge and pride, it can't happen to me. ALCOHOL, SUICIDE, and DIVORCE statistics are for others. SAVED BY MUCH GRACE.
My real problem that day, the fear of public speaking, telling my dental school, 1st day classmates, the LORD had MEDICAL SCHOOL PLANS, for me. Yea, what irony, the fear of public speaking, more than the fear of SUICIDE.
Like Israel, it would take me 40 years, to enter the land of trusting God's WORD. In the TRIAL OF FIRE OF 1982, with a little help from the devil; I BECAME FAITHLESS, Titanic moment; HE, THE LORD JESUS, REMAINED FAITHFUL, HE refueled my faith.
As you know, from this testimony, Grace is sufficient for salvation, and doubting my Salvation, a condition of blindness, of an unrepentant, sin sick, believer and confessor of Christ. The LORD LED ME IN THE PATH OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, "requiring all missing steps", like "REPENTANCE", FOR HIS NAME SAKE, HE HAD TO, look at HIS PROMISE! "If you believe in your heart that Jesus died on the cross, for your sin, and was raised from the dead, and confess with your mouth, that "Jesus is LORD", thou shalt be saved." This PROMISE, "Shalt be saved", was fulfilled, with a fiery trial.
"Work out your salvation with fear and trembling", let the Grace of our LORD JESUS, flow like a river, sustain you in HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS. Not self-righteousness, that are filthy rags of pride lacking genuine REPENTANCE.
Christ Forever Alive , Randy