Gallon of Salsa Challenge (8.5 lbs) vs FreakEating

There are many things you can place on a lifetime bucket list. Mine includes drinking a gallon of salsa, completing a marathon (running 26.2 miles), and holding a Guinness World Record. One out of three isn't too bad. Well, so far. In the interest of FreakEating science, let's find out how long it takes me to eat/drink 8.5 lbs of salsa. Comment your thoughts about how long it's going to take me, and leave some ideas for possible Guinness world records I should attempt to break in the next few months. Note: the whole bottle of salsa contained fewer than 1500 calories and was mildly spicy.

1000 Cheesy Balls Challenge:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GqymUcRNy94

100 Oreos Challenge:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B633fjKh-HI

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Music: "Killers," "Misuse"
Source: http://incompetech.com/ with a Creative Commons 3.0 attribution for use thanks to Kevin MacLeod.