VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE / Pastor Bob's Coffee Break

Dear Pastor Bob: I was the victim of sexual abuse by my cousin. I went through secrecy being brought up as a nice and modest person, being used in all walks of life until now, as I turned 39 this year. I ran away from the pain to alcohol, drugs (mainly cannabis) and gambling. I became an addict the first time I took a sip of beer and was drinking strong alcohol that same night at around 13 years old. After God releasing me of that at age 25 I remained a junkie for almost 14 years on and off. The pain went into a constant chronic physical one I´ve carried for 20 years after I broke my back at 19.
I also missed most of my daughters life after my spouse cheated on me and took my daughter to another city 200 miles away and me to court twice to get sole custody. God has released me of most addictions starting this year, yet pornography remains after my abuser showed me some as early as 4-5 year old and assaulted me several times. How do I rid myself of the pain of my immediate family also not believing me and ending up in mental asylums several times and having a demonic voice still in my head? How do I start to forgive when I fantasize of cutting off his manly parts and the voice telling me "you´re gay?"

Today's Scripture:
Philippians 4:8

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