Deep Discouragement

Deep Discouragement

June 27th, 2023

We bind the spirit of depression, despair and discouragement in the mighty name of Jesus, and we lose a spirit of love, clarity of God’s purpose for our lives, endurance, strength and perseverance. Amen.

Mother Clare began, Hitting the absolute bottom today and feeling paralyzed, I listened to my soaking list and saw Jesus with a royal crown, very kingly and beautiful. Amazingly beautiful. I sensed He wanted to speak to me. I remembered the crown Holy Spirit gave me, well, the two crowns and wondered. Today I felt like the tiny violet crushed under foot. It seemed like everyone around me had something ugly to say. I have been watching the lives of the Orthodox saints and thinking that maybe I should ditch it all and go out to the desert and become a hermit.

I was so discouraged with the attitudes around me. So, I came into worship very dejected and feeling like an absolute failure. Then, I saw the Lord in His magnificent crown. “Lord, did you want to speak to me?”

“How did you guess?”

“I don’t know if I have ever felt this awful about myself and my life.”

“You have, you just don’t remember. Don’t get your eyes on these things, rather, keep them on Me Beloved, on My promises, on My presence, on Me. You see, you are in the thick of a major trial, you see your failures all too clearly and you hear the criticisms of those around you, it is painful, but you cannot let that get to you or derail your purpose. Get a hold of yourself Beloved. I know how bitter this cup is, I know how depleted you are...how you are being tempted to give up. Where do you suppose that is coming from? Breakthroughs come on the heels of breakings.”

“I felt something yesterday, recording that message where I felt like a pin cushion. Something deep, authentic and very, very little.”

“Uh huh. You felt vulnerable and littleness, what did you think about that?”

“I liked it. I felt very stripped down to the essence of my very little self. No pretensions, no excuses or reasoning, just sheer dejection and littleness, with no need to defend myself.”

“Now you are getting the point. This is perfect joy, when others are rough and uncaring, complaining, correcting and showing no respect or concern, that’s perfect joy. Therese went through this as well. I am putting the perfected polish on the stone.” Just then, I saw a beautiful rounded stone in a ring that He was putting the final polish on.

“When you experience perfect joy, you are on the floor with Therese with her novices, you are also in the snowbank with Saint Francis. Come here My Beloved Bride, let Me hold you. Oh, My precious, precious Bride.” He held me tightly and rocked me back and forth. He removed His crown and set it beside us and nestled me into His beautiful chestnut hair, rocking me back and forth. “My precious, precious little Clare.”

“My precious, precious Lord...why did you ever pick me for this job? Elisabeth is perfectly qualified.”

“Are you telling Me now that I made a bad choice...are you informing Me that My choice was made in error?”

“Well, now that you mention it, that’s pretty foolish of me. Oh Lord, how do you put up with me?”

“With greater and greater tenderness, admiration and respect, you are going through a trial right now but it must be done, in the end you will be perfectly happy about it.”

“Lord, I do not see an end.”

“But I do, and I know exactly what will be done in your soul.”

“Jesus why can’t I put the recording together that You asked me to do? I feel so flat lined about it. I want to encourage your Bride, but I, myself, have no courage to encourage with. What do I do? You know how I have been struggling with this.”

“If you just begin, I will bring the inspiration. Did you feel something today that was very fleeting?”

“Was that You Lord?”

“It was. It was a lead into what I want to do for Her. You can go back to that place tonight and pick it up. I will bless this.”

“Like, now?”

“Yes, now is a good time.” And He did, He bless it! God is good! Amen.

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