DUmmie FUnnies Wants $500,000 Reward for Identifying J6 Pipe Bomber

The FBI is offering a $500,000 reward to identify the J6 pipe bomber and the DUmmie FUnnies wants to collect that reward money. Perhaps the reward money will be used to invest in cell phone technology that can't can't be conveniently "corrupted" while performing an investigation via Geofencing. Would also use that reward money to purchase a kitchen timer that lasts more than an hour.