The Problem With Making Him Wait

Women are often taught from a young age that when it comes to sex, we should ‘play hard to get’ and ‘make men wait.’ This idea is often emphasised in non-fiction books aimed at women, including Louise Perry’s “The Case Against the Sexual Revolution”, Sherry Argov’s “Why Men Love Bitches”, and Steve Harvey’s “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.”

The problem with this notion is that it turns female sexuality into a bargaining chip. It turns male and female relations into a state of competitiveness and deception, rather than being complimentary and working together. In the modern West, this especially makes no sense, because it is rather common for young women to engage in hook-ups and one-night stands. It doesn’t make any sense to set one standard for men a woman wishes to have casual sex with (quick sex) but another standard for a man that a woman wishes to have a serious relationship with (delayed sex).

This reinforces the Christian Madonna/Whore notion of sex, which turns women into chattel rather than human beings. Women cannot either be ‘good girls’ (wives) or ‘bad girls’ (whores). Just as men cannot be ‘nice guys’ or ‘studs.’ This creates superficial division between men and women rather than bringing us together. Sex is supposed to be a bonding experience between two people, not something to be used as currency to manipulate someone into a relationship. There’s nothing empowering or positive about teaching women to manipulate men with our sexuality. A much healthier way is to teach women to be honest, direct, and pragmatic in our approaches to men. Yes, it is true that some men do indeed use women for easy sex, but the sooner you have sex, the sooner you are going to figure this out. Women need to learn to be more resilient about this and learn to accept these harsh realities of life. Men are expected to do the same, so why are women not held to the same standards?

If women want to be equal to men regarding respect, then we must stop creating these unnecessary double standards that severe (instead of strengthen) the bonds between men and women. Telling women to ‘make men wait for sex’ is harmful, not helpful, to healthy gender relations.

(Note: this isn't to say that women should hop into bed immediately with every guy she has just met. Personally, I think three dates is the absolute maximum a woman should wait before sleeping with a new guy, unless she is a virgin, highly insecure, or otherwise inexperienced. This allows a short time period to get to know the person but not too long to look like you are playing games. This also gives time to gage what you are looking for r.e. the person. Remember: dishonesty is NEVER attractive nor rational. Men respect honesty and directness much more than dishonesty and calculated game playing.)

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Good related articles from The Power Moves:

➤ https://thepowermoves.com/dont-delay-sex/
➤ https://thepowermoves.com/madonna-whore-complex/

➤ The Case Against the Sexual Revolution Book Review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l4rtxpJErWg

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