Why, Hell! I'll Just Run for Office!

Paying It Forward, Lopez’s Civil Rights Hero Provides Instructional Video in Civics for Aspiring Candidates

[FOB FREEDOM, May 24, 2023] Any station? Any station? Do you read? Over.

Reporting live from the world’s newest banana republic, . . .

Some people may believe that once you’re friends say, “You have a lot of opinions; so, why don’t you run for office,” it’s relatively easy from there, and, at least for one disabled and homeless veteran about whom his rater as a lieutenant had remarked that he made the most difficult things look easy, performing far better than any of his senior captains, if a person afflicted with a debilitating depressive disorder could do this, Major Mike Webb believes that anyone could, even a child, and, if you have a complaint about government, maybe quite a few kids do.

“We have this American Broadcasting Company and James Christian Kimmel motion to dismiss second amended racketeering complaint, determined as moot as law by order of the court, acting sua sponte, on May 23rd in correspondence. Already on appeal to the Fourth Circuit and gearing up an application for prejudment at the Supreme Court. Too damn easy. Next?”, quipped Webb, wholly underwhelmed.

“Let’s see, now, when Joe took office, we didn't have enough vaccines--a lot of COVID-19 countermeasures, but lacking official knowledge of infectious dose to ascertain proper correlates of protection to develop effective vaccines without a large sample size phase three clinical trial, but definitely not enough vaccines.   According to Joe, we now have the tools we need to protect the American people and prepare for any new surge or variant of a virus the government can neither confirm nor deny it owns.  And according to Joe, we're now fighting COVID-19 from a position of strength, and it no longer needs to control our lives, thanks to the heroic efforts of frontline and essential workers who were apparently unaware on the frontlines that except for nursing homes and veterans care facilities we had practically zero nosocomial outbreaks in the United States, an aberration from the pandemic in the rest of the world, in which we lead in fatalities, 90% the elderly who the WHO had indicated there were guidelines to protect in February 2020, without pharmacological intervention against a validated less than five percent secondary attack rate disease. ‘We have lost so much to this pandemic. But I *believe* that our best days *lie* ahead.’ Alrighty then,” remarked Webb nonchalantly, because like probably most homeless in affluent Arlington, another letter from the White House is not uncommon.

“Oh! This is great! Challenge to Rule 8, and unlawful usage of the Mississippi Burning Law against pro-life advocates, quashed on an IFP, or application to proceed without payment of fees, in a case it wasn't like anyone even in the pro-life press expressed any interest.  Not like they’re losing sleep, right, like my dead Niggah preacher case? But it's another chance for me to go to the Supreme Court; so, what the heck? I love a fight,” chuckled Webb.

Still, a challenge unlawful use of the Mississippi Burning Law, killed on an IFP? Webb concedes that it’s definitely not a rainmaker at the firm, and can imagine a good attorney going to the remaining eleven disciples to see if they’d accept a retainer for only ten percent of the usual retainer agreement, or go for Plan B: see if someone will donate a grave.

“Wow! This needs a frame. Dismissal of an affidavit. It’s gotta be the first one in history, and now on its way to the Supreme Court to see if we can’t recognize a new law. I'll use it as a placeholder until I can get a judge to repeal gravity,” giggled Webb, devilishly.

“I am pretty certain I am the only homeless person in Arlington who needs to hire a correspondence secretary to keep organize his files. I'm guessing the phone company, the aliens and the gamma rays don't write much,” laughed Webb, maniacally.

Note: grandiosity is a classic sign of bipolar disorder, and we don't want to hurt his feelings lest he go to “that place”, so familiar to Arlington Public School Board Member, Latina Cristina Torres-Diaz.

Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim-cherry. A pandemic agent as lucky can be. Chim-chimera. Chim-chimera. Chim-chim--achoo. The luck'll rub off when I bump fists with you. Or blow me a kiss, and catch COVID-2.

Your elected representative is called your elected representative for a reason; and Martin Luther King and Jesus never got elected.

And let’s get ready to RUMBLE! https://rumble.com/vp2uk1-attorneys-need-not-apply-you-have-the-right-to-remain-silent.html.