A Chromatic Incident

It’s not enough for advocacy groups and special interests to have a day dedicated to them. Now in a fit of temporal empire-building, they are demanding a week or even a month, each trying to outdo one other on the calendar. We here at CoBaD imagine that a highly condensed version of the aforementioned “land grab” might go something like this:

Orange: I claim this day in the name of Orange!

Red: If Orange has a day, then we must have a week!

Blue: If Red has a week, then we must have a month!

Green: If Blue has a month, then we must have the last half of one month and the first half of the following month!

In principle, CoBaD understands this cost-effective (i.e., cheapskate) marketing gimmick. After all, it is much less expensive (and far more efficient) to cordon off a section of the calendar (and score a free five minute interview on the morning news in the process) than it is to purchase and shoot 30 seconds of network TV time. Such a low-cost tactic does wonders for development (i.e., fundraising). But nowadays there are so many advocacy groups and special interests pushing their agendas up our agendas that it’s almost impossible to get a twelve month, nonstop commercial-free docket anymore. To make matters worse, it now seems like these individuals are rushing and elbowing each other out of the way in order to stake a claim on the calendar the same way that settlers acted during the Oklahoma Land Rush of 1889. This is a rather appropriate analogy since like the settlers, advocacy groups and special interests are attempting to lay claim to something that isn’t theirs in the first place. The Oklahoma territory didn’t belong to the settlers any more than the calendar doesn’t belong to the aforementioned groups and interests.
This skit is a “brazen and flagrant” jab at what happens when these parties start encroaching on each other’s “territories.” For example, Engineers Week takes place on the third week of February. February happens to be Black History Month. If a crisis develops during Engineers Week, who has jurisdiction? Juneteenth, the day which commemorates the 1865 emancipation of enslaved blacks in the U.S., is celebrated on the 19th of June. June happens to be National Pride Month. If a crisis develops on June 19th, who has jurisdiction? We need to have a national conversation before a diplomatic crisis occurs. CoBaD recommends watching the “Yes, Prime Minster” episode, “A Diplomatic Incident,” which does a humorous take on English/French jurisdiction with regards to the Channel Tunnel.
Plenip Tentiary, the Czech Republic diplomat, is taken from the term “plenipotentiary.” A plenipotentiary is a diplomat who has absolute power to sign a treaty or convention on behalf of his or her sovereign. Plenip sounds like a very prestigious name; very appropriate for a diplomat, although it sounds more Bosnian than Czech. But that’s neither here nor there.
Mr. Mich: “…PAT Pastry Party patsy confectionary forces!” - In Italy the strudel is listed as a PAT (Prodotto agroalimentare tradizionale), or traditional Agri-Food product. A PAT is a traditional Italian regional food product whose processing, conservation and seasoning methods are uniform and have been practiced in their respective territories in Italy (in the strudel’s case, the autonomous province of South Tyrol) of not less than twenty-five years. A product that is PAT certified assures the consumer that the product he or she is buying meets precise specifications, and protects the manufacturer against counterfeit products, unfair competition and fraud. A list of PATs is published and maintained by the Italian Ministry of Agricultural, Food and Forestry Policies.
Mr. Mich: “Neapolitan flags…With the chocolate stripe on the left, the strawberry stripe on the right, and the vanilla stripe in the middle symbolizing peace between the two flavors?!” - An ice cream take on the flag of Ireland. The colors on the flag of Ireland represent the Gaelic tradition (green) and the followers of William of Orange (orange), with white representing the aspiration for peace between the two parties. Alternatively, the flag allegedly refers to Catholicism (green) and Protestantism (orange), with white again representing the hope of peace between the two faiths.
The Red Velvet Cake Revolution Government’s duly appointed leader, Leck Mich, is a reference to “Leck mich im Arsch,” (“Lick me in the Arse”, K.231/382c), a canon composed in 1782 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

CoBaD would like to respond to your rebuttal in two parts:
1. Yes, THAT Mozart, and
2. No, we’re not bullsh**ting you.

Leck sounds like a very prestigious name; very appropriate for a leader of a government in exile, although it sounds more Polish than Czech, but that’s neither there nor here.
Mr. Tentiary: “…high ranking wavelengths…” - Refers to green (495–570 nanometers), yellow (575–585 nm), orange (585-620 nm) and red (625–740 nm). Blue (450-495 nm), only ranks above only the lowly working class violet (380-435 nm). But that’s neither here, there nor anywhere, just like Mr. Mich’s twice-owned, gently used blue thong.
Epilogue: “black…diverse and inclusive pigment…” - Refers to subtractive color mixing. If one mixes the pigments (e.g., paints, dyes or inks) of the three primary colors of the CMY color model (cyan, magenta and yellow), one will get black.