Extremely Funny Quotes

This video brings you some of the best funny quotes to have you a healthy laugh. Hilarious quotes, funny quotes,

1. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. - Ann Landers
2. I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly. Peter Cook
3. True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Kurt Vonnegut
4. If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?.George Carlin
5. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston Churchill
6. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” Earl Wilson
7. My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Matthau
8. When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. Norm Crosby
9. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres
10. Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat. Jim Davis
11. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius. Sid Caesar
12. Laughing is the best medicine. But if you are laughing for no reason, you may need medicine. Anonymous
13. Laughing is the best medicine Unless you have Diarrhea! Anonymous
14. Next time when a stranger talks to you when you are alone, just look at them shocked and whisper “You can see me?” Anonymous
15. Why Do they call it rush hour when nothing move? Robin Williams
16. Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired and put the block back in the toy box. Anonymous
17. The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream. Bill Murray
18. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born? Benny Hill
19. Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you. Mark Twain
20. Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache. Mae West