The No Bullsh*t Guide to Killing Witches

The Malleus Maleficarum, a medieval treatise on witchcraft written by Heinrich Kramer and James Sprenger, is a highly influential text on the subject during the medieval period. The authors believed that witches were a real threat to society, having made a pact with the devil and being capable of causing harm to others through the use of magic. Therefore, they argued that witches must be identified, prosecuted, and punished to protect the innocent.

The text is divided into three parts. The first part justifies the existence of witches and their persecution. The authors believed that witches posed a threat to the Church and the Christian faith, as they had turned away from God and embraced the devil. They claimed that witches were responsible for various misfortunes, such as illness, death, and crop failures.

The second part of the text focuses on the methods of detecting witches. The authors provided a detailed description of the physical and behavioral characteristics of witches, such as physical deformities or abnormalities, like a third nipple or a twisted limb. They also believed that witches had familiar animals, such as cats, to help them with their magic. The authors provided a list of signs that could be used to identify witches, such as a tendency to avoid eye contact or to be excessively interested in sex.

The authors also described various methods for testing whether someone was a witch, including the infamous "swimming test." Suspected witches were bound and thrown into water, and if they floated, they were considered guilty, while if they sank, they were innocent. This method was based on the belief that witches could not sink because they were buoyed up by the devil.

The third and final part of the text provided guidance on how to prosecute and punish witches. The authors argued that witchcraft was a serious crime that must be punished with the utmost severity. They described the legal procedures that should be followed when accusing someone of witchcraft and recommended the use of torture to extract confessions from suspected witches.

The authors also provided a detailed description of the various punishments that could be inflicted on witches. Burning at the stake was the most common punishment for witches, along with imprisonment, confiscation of property, and banishment. The authors argued that these punishments were necessary to deter others from practicing witchcraft and to protect society from the harm that witches could cause.

Despite its significant influence, the Malleus Maleficarum is a controversial text that led to the deaths of countless innocent people. Its methods for identifying and punishing witches were often cruel and arbitrary, providing a basis for the witch hunts and persecutions that occurred throughout Europe during the medieval period. Nonetheless, the Malleus Maleficarum remains an important historical document that provides insight into the beliefs and attitudes of people during this time period.