Coping with Trauma and Grief Over the Holidays

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Objectives
- Identify grief, trauma and depression triggers
- Explore ways to deal with them
Trauma and Grief
- Trauma results when people feel a lack of control, disempowerment and unsafeness
- Grief is commonly associated with a sense of powerlessness over the loss of something important (people, pets, faith, ability to do what you feel you “should”)
- Grief can be traumatic
- Trauma almost always results in losses to be grieved
Grief
- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Guilt over shoulda, coulda, woulda
- You bargain with a higher power for healing or a miracle
- Depression
- Acceptance
Signs of Grief
- Physical
- Somatic complaints
- Sleep disturbance
- Appetite changes
- Restlessness
- Affective
- Irritability / Anger
- Anxiety (esp. in children)
- Depression
- Mood swings
- Cognitive
- Intrusive thoughts
- Difficulty concentrating
- Relational
- Isolation / withdrawal
- Clinginess (separation anxiety, neediness)
- Or both

What Do We Grieve
- Prior losses
- Loss of
- A person to death
- A person to empty nest
- A person to an ended relationship
- Physical health and abilities
- Routine / rituals
- A pet
- Hope and faith
- Finances / Jobs and ability to give gifts like you want
- Dreams (Hallmark & Disney)

Interventions
- Self Care for Mood, Immunity and Inflammation
- Safety
- Sleep
- Nutrition (including water)
- Sunlight
- Me Time
- Exercise
- Boundaries (no “shoulds”)– Do what you can
- Allow time for feelings
- Ask for help to avoid getting overwhelmed
- Make a Bill of Rights to prevent guilt
Interventions
- Hardiness and Present Focus
- Attitude of gratitude
- Tree ornaments/cards during Advent for what you have
- Tree ornaments/stocking cards for the person you lost
- Memory journal or celebration (I remember cards)
- Focus on what you can control
- Turn off triggering shows/ Take a media/news break
- Shop on line or ahead of time
- Start a new tradition or just get away
- Make a plan for the day and have a plan B
- Release your resentments / Loving kindness meditation

Summary
- The holidays are hard for a LOT of people
- They can bring up feelings of grief, guilt, loneliness, anger, trauma/helplessness, and depression/hopelessness
- People need to be aware of what their triggers are, what those triggers are related to and have a plan to stop them.
- Vulnerability prevention is also essential to help people have the energy and reserves to deal with unavoidable stressors.

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