Premium Only Content
Title: The World's Worst Job Interview
Opening shot: A young man, JACK, is sitting nervously in a dimly lit waiting room. The walls are lined with tattered posters and the air is thick with the smell of burnt coffee.
JACK: (to himself) Okay Jack, you got this. Just remember to smile and don't mention the time you set your boss's desk on fire.
Suddenly, the door to the interview room swings open and a disheveled man in a stained suit emerges. This is JIM, the interviewer.
JIM: Jack! (slaps Jack on the back) Come on in, we're ready for you.
JACK: (stammers) Th-thanks.
Cut to: Jack sitting across from Jim at a desk cluttered with papers and empty coffee cups.
JIM: So Jack, tell me about yourself.
JACK: (clears throat) Well, I'm a hard worker, a quick learner, and I'm always looking for ways to improve.
JIM: (interrupting) Boring! (laughs) Let's try something a little more fun. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
JACK: (caught off guard) Uh, I don't know. Maybe a dolphin? They seem pretty smart.
JIM: (laughs) A dolphin? Really? You know they're the clowns of the sea, right? (makes dolphin noises)
JACK: (laughs nervously) Yeah, I guess so.
JIM: Okay, next question. If you could have any superpower, what would it be and why?
JACK: (smiling) Well, I've always thought it would be cool to be able to fly.
JIM: (smirks) Oh, so you're afraid of heights, huh?
JACK: (laughs) No, not really.
JIM: (jokingly) Sure you're not. (pause) Alright Jack, last question. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
JACK: (shocked) What? I can't answer that!
JIM: (laughing) Just kidding, Jack. You passed the test. Welcome to the team!
Closing shot: Jack looks relieved and grateful as he shakes Jim's hand. The camera pulls back to show the cramped and cluttered interview room, with Jim's desk piled high with papers and empty coffee cups.
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