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SOMEONE MIGHT NEED TO HEAR THIS TODAY
There are days when everything is dark around you. A hopeless pitch dark that consumes you whole. I know, I have been there too. Too many times. It’s never easy. It is not a question of willpower. You don’t just snap out of it. And you don’t need to have objective reasons for being in that state, either.
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It’s okay. This is just one of those days.
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When everything is crashing down on you. When there are either too many things happening at once or nothing happens at all.
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When everything around you causes a chain reaction of emotional crashes, when disappointment follows disappointment, when your patience is running low or running out. When you’re spreading yourself so thin that you wonder whether you exist at all.
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When you have to be everywhere yet you feel at ease nowhere. When you listen, nod and encourage others with a smile and, in the meantime, you scream inside so someone should listen to you too, finally.
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When you plan and your plans flop. When it takes everything to get on with your day instead of crying on the floor in a fetal position. When you smile so hard that your jaw hurts.
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When you waited and worked and did everything humanly possible to face rejection. When you face rudeness and ignorance and even though you shouldn’t take it personally, it makes you want to cry.
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When you feel you failed; when you disappointed people who love you and who matter to you. When you break promises and you break hearts — to avoid the heartbreak of your own, but it still breaks and it hurts you.
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When you feel alone and lonely and no one gets you or no one cares about you. When you treat yourself as a priority yet no one is around to agree with it.
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When it’s so much you want to give up, to run away, to crawl back to bed, to emigrate from the country, to leave this planet.
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There are days like this. You wish it were easier. Just once. One. Single. Time. But hear me out.
Bad Times Don’t Last
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This darkness and despair feel never ending. Your dark thoughts are like a warm black blanket, hugging you and covering you. And it feels nice to be away from reality, to escape people and things and turn just inside your head, it starts to suffocate you and blocks out everything from your view and your thoughts.
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It will pass. You will feel better. It doesn’t last forever — darkness only exists in contrast to the light, the shadows that scare you are coming from you blocking the light.
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.” — Thomas Fuller
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Think about it, and make sure you remember, nothing lasts forever. Imagine it is like the night, it will end, it will be morning again, the sun will get up, and it will shine, and it will warm you — it always does.
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You Worry Too Much
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom always to tell the difference.” — Kurt Vonnegut
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Not everything around us is within our control. If you can control it, do something about it, but if it’s beyond you, stop worrying about it. In lots of cases, you worry about things that won’t matter in a few days or weeks.
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Do you worry about what others think of you? Do you think that they care? Sad, but liberating, people don’t care that much. Do you worry about how others will react? The only thing you can control is how you act and react.
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Worrying about things out of your control is like worrying about the weather. It can bring you down, but it won’t change at your will, it will change when it will change. You willingly give up time and energy — and it doesn’t change a thing.
You Can and Should Say No
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When you have too many things to do, too many people to please, too many tasks to finish — you need to start saying no. Saying no is not rude or selfish, it’s necessary. It’s not only about saying no to toxic people and situations — you need to say no to your partner, friends, family, co-workers and bosses.
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You need to make sure that your energy and the quality of your output matches your own expectations. You need to let go of things if they don’t serve you anymore. You need to stop pleasing others and hurting yourself in the process. You need to stop trying to prove your worth by doing more trying harder.
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Take a break from things you don’t even want to do, and teach others how to treat you. If someone is spending time with you only for the favours you do for them, you don’t need them anyway. Say no. Don’t apologise for it.
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You Are Enough
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You need to hear this today. How do I know it? Because no matter where you are, who you are, if you are happy or sad, you have to hear it and remember it every day:
You. Are. Enough.
Not just today. Always.
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You are smart enough, kind enough, loveable enough. Your worth is not linked to the feedback that you received from your friends or family or spouse. It is not linked to what you have accomplished today.
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You are worthy. You are enough. You have come a long way. And today, it is enough.
You are your own worst critique. No one in this world is as strict with you as you are. Give yourself a break, okay? Talk to yourself as you would talk to a fragile child.
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Stop the negative self-talk. Stop beating yourself up.
You are a good enough friend, a good enough partner, a good enough parent, a good enough writer, a good enough person.
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You are not perfect, and you don’t have to be. Be the best version of yourself that you can be today and know that good enough is good enough. Perfection is unsustainable.
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It’s Worth It
It doesn’t look like it. But it’s worth it. This. This life, these people, these feelings, these connections. These relationships. The love you give and the love you get. Your children and parents, your lovers, friends and family, your colleagues and your muses, your inspirations and your struggles — they are worth it.
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Everything that is happening is worth it. In the end, all of it makes you more and better and stronger. This is the life that you have been given and you need to see how beautiful it is. You are alive, you have food and water and shelter, you can read and write and you can pay for the internet, you can worry about your paycheck which means you have a job. You have more than so many people. And it is worth it.
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This life is a journey, it’s not some unknown destination you would like to get to. It’s an epic ride, with ups and downs — and no up or down last forever. Learn to enjoy both.
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So, wipe your tears, dust yourself up, and let’s do today. Let’s take this life one day at a time. Let’s set new goals tomorrow, let’s conquer new heights tomorrow, let’s do better tomorrow.
But until then, today you are enough.
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