HELP THE BLIND GUY FIND HIM A FEEFEE!

I can't win for losing. Like a page straight out of the Mental Ward Chronicles, I have encountered so many characters either voluntary or involuntary and each one being a very interesting or strange ride. From one extreme to another. From the slander of a complete stranger, that was nothing short of a daddy obsession, to an apparent Jilted man crush possibly brought on as a direct or indirect after effects of His Jewels getting juggled by a Johnson Jones'n geriatric.