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The Return to Friendship: Why Young Americans are Choosing Friends as Romantic Partners
In recent years, dating norms for young adults have changed dramatically. The rise of dating apps and hookup culture has transformed the way people meet and form relationships. However, a new trend has emerged among Gen Z and younger millennials, who are increasingly turning to their friends to find romantic partners.
According to a recent survey by the Survey Center on American Life, young adults are more likely than their older counterparts to say they were once friends with their partner before becoming romantically involved. In fact, 44% of those aged 18-29 reported being friends with their partner before dating, compared to just 21% of those over age 65.
So why are young adults turning to their friends for romance? The potential reasons are complex, but can be attributed to a combination of technological advancements, changing relationship priorities, and societal shifts.
One factor that may be driving this trend is the rise of social media. Thanks to platforms like Facebook and Instagram, it's easier than ever to know a lot more people, even if they aren't friends in the traditional sense. For many young adults, this wider web of acquaintances can make it easier to meet potential partners.
Juliana Trujillo, a 19-year-old junior at New Mexico State University, explains, "For me personally, a lot of people that I have romantic relationships with, even though I don't know them personally, I know of them. And I know people who know them and so they aren't technically strangers, but still kind of so."
Another factor driving the trend towards dating friends is a desire for trust and accountability in relationships. When you meet a romantic partner through a friend, there's a sense of third-person accountability. If something goes wrong, the friend who introduced you can act as a mediator.
As Arielle Kuperberg, an associate professor of sociology at the University of North Carolina Greensboro, explains, "Dating someone who you meet through a friend gives you that sense of trust. There's kind of this third person that they're accountable to."
In addition to trust and accountability, young adults are prioritizing friendships and personal well-being over traditional relationship priorities like financial security. According to Anastasia Pelot, a content marketing manager for market researcher YPulse, Gen Z and younger millennials are seeking something more intangible in their relationships.
"More and more, what people are looking for in relationships is very, very different," Pelot says. "Young people are highly, highly prioritizing friendships in ways that other generations really just depended on their romantic relationships for."
Finally, societal shifts brought on by movements like "Me Too" may be contributing to the trend towards dating friends. As Kuperberg notes, "It's become much less acceptable to approach people at work, or even in school, to some extent. There's been an increase in focus on sexual harassment, which is, I think, a good thing but it's also greatly limited the degree to which people are willing to kind of approach strangers."
Overall, the trend towards dating friends among young adults is a complex one that reflects a changing landscape of social norms and priorities. While there are certainly challenges and limitations to this approach, it seems to be working for many young people who are seeking meaningful, fulfilling relationships.
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