Jealous Ex sent current BF videos of us having sex #sex #scandal #tape

Jealous Ex sent current BF videos of us having sex.
I have posted this on relationship advice with very little response, honestly this is probably the better place for this.
Me (F28) and my BF (M28) have been dating for a little over 2 years now. Things up until recently have been amazing. He’s attractive, confident, funny, super attentive of me and my needs, makes me feel beautiful every second I’m with him, and (because this matters on this issue) is amazing in bed like eyes rolling to the back of my head amazing.
About 2 months ago my ex, who I broke up with on very poor terms, found my current BF’s socials (I’ve had him blocked on everything of mine since our split) and sent him 5 videos we had made during our time together of us having sex. When he had let me know about what my ex had done later that night I was down right embarrassed and was filled with rage at this sorry excuse for a man I call my ex. But in further discussing things with my boyfriend I could sense something was off about him, for the first time since I’ve met him it felt like there was a crack in his armor. No matter how many times that night he told me he was fine and that this wasn’t getting to him I could see discomfort in his eyes. In the 2 months since this has happened sex has slowed down quite a bit for us (we were sleeping together 5-6 a week only have had sex twice since the incident). In those 2 times we had since I can feel the anxious energy permeating off him. His whole demeanor when being intimate has changed since that day.
Watching the videos it is incredibly obvious to see my ex is very well endowed. My current boyfriend is average in this department but like I said the sex has been downright otherworldly with him and I wouldn’t change anything about him. I don’t know if it is my ex’s size effecting him as much as the way I acted towards my ex and what I was wearing in the videos. My ex had/has a real kink for being praised and so through out all the videos I’m telling him how great his big dick is, how no body can fuck me like he can(this turned out to be a big lie!), etc all while wearing a collar and leash or some other kink related outfit.
I don’t know how to approach this with out coming off as the girlfriend just saying things to make her boyfriend feel better. In researching how to approach this I have read that situations like this can be one of the most crushing things to man’s self confidence and esteem and even being approached on the subject by their SO can be a anxious nightmare for them. How should I go about this? What should I say/do to reassure him? This man is the love of my life and the person I hope to build a family and life with I just want help him get out of this funk.
Thank you to those of you who have participated constructively in this discussion; comments for this discussion are now locked, as OP has received plenty of feedback that she requires.
this is revenge porn and you can take legal action.
Oh man. Think you gotta be realistic and recognise this is going to be really really difficult for him to overcome. It's basically a worst nightmare scenario for any guy, and the way you described the videos makes it 10x worse for him. Only advice I have is to give him space to process this and hope he can overcome it, but understand that that may not ever happen
It’s revenge porn. Call the police and flock his ass up legally.
REVENGE PORN IS A CRIME PLEASE SUE YOUR ABUSIVE EX ASAP
Ooooooof. Reading this is so crushing as a man.
My(M29) heart is hurting just reading this. I'd never recover from this and I feel like I'm pretty strong mentally. I think the resentment would eat away until I decided to break it off and start clean. I wouldn't blame anyone though. It's a cold world
I agree about legal action. It’s revenge porn and imo it has probably cost you a great relationship. The nature of what you described, I mean that is just devastating. What a vicious move. I hope your ex knows what goes around comes around usually.
Man I feel bad for your bf, as a man I can tell you that THAT shit does really hurt and definitely leaves you wondering if you're good enough. It also leaves you extremely jealous and feeling vulnerable.
Whoa! Sorry, but your current BF will be scarred for the rest of his life seeing that. That's bad, real flocking bad. Please arrange for him to see a counsellor of some kind. He'll say it's fine, but he'll be flocked up from it.
Well, your relationship is probably over but you can get your ex charged
I think I’d show him what you wrote here, it’s beautifully put.
I'll die if someone send this to me. Choose your futur words carefully because he is probably dead inside.
Thats a lot. Wow. Honestly your bf is probably just processing a lot right now. I would tell him that you can tell he's been off since the incident and you want him to know that whenever he's ready to talk, or of he needs anything from you, to let you know.