Matrix, Part 57

I'd like to play a little game with you... For one measly minute or so, let's forget your precious IQ and enter the dark realm of imagination. Look closer! Imagine there was - some shift in the old time-space continuum that sent you thousands of years into the past. But you have a flash drive bursting with gigabytes of wonders of the modern world: music, books, pictures, videos... You aren't just some little prick any longer, but the pinnacle of smarts, top of the big pyramid of civilization. They're all dying to pay you incredible treasures in exchange for all this knowledge. World leaders from every nation! You're a demigod-like genuine phenomenon, you are the path to true enlightenment, dude!

Well, everybody's gathered together, excited and waiting, ready to pay heed to your knowledge, to learn from you and so forth. Thousands of eyes are staring, the entire world has stopped to hear what you'll say - expecting miracles and light! Now pay attention. How do you get the data off of the flash drive? Because you don't really know anything. The only proof you have that you're from the future is this little hunk of plastic and metal. You've got nothing to tell the mob. And without proof, anything you say to them is going to sound like ***

And at best, THIS is where you'll end up. So yeah, my precious smarty pants without all your usual technical support you're nothing but a useless little dumb two-legged farter. But then of course, setting up a free e-mail box, turning in a "ready made essay", voting via text message, or installing a plug-in are each and every one crucial, necessary, brilliant skills.

But they are not gonna do one damned thing to save your neck! Right. Now let's think about things on a global scale. Any of you know the gunpowder formula? Can you make penicillin? Do ya know how to take crude oil and turn it into gasoline? Is there anything at all you could give these poor dumb shmoes from the past, huh? Come on, think!?

Use your brains, darling parasites! For example, to generate electricity all you need is an orange or a potato. It would be enough to stick a small golden cross along with a silver spoon into it for these two contacts to produce 2 volts!

Did you know that? I'm well aware that my words will not convince you, which is why I'm prepared to show you something that is significantly more substantial. I happened to bring along with me a nano-quantum-crystallic hyper-hydropneumatic information core with thousands of petabytes of information. Voila! And now, this amazing device will transport every one of us... Or not. Uh, does anybody have an intrasystemic figurative synthesis - compiler?