I Survived a Bus Crash

Here’s the bus crash I survived.

I just got the footage. I can’t believe it’s been exactly a year. This year for Thanksgiving I am grateful to not be celebrating the one year anniversary of my funeral….. Thank you all for the constant love:
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*For those of you late to the party…. I was walking across America for a second time when an officer pulled me over (82 days and 1800 miles into the walk) and said it was illegal to walk on the highway. She gave me two choices:
1. Get arrested for trespassing.
2. Get on a Greyhound and get the hell out of her jurisdiction.

I obeyed her citation (obviously against my wishes) and she dropped me off at a Greyhound with a ton of drug addicts to get out of her jurisdiction so I could complete my walk to the LIVE Survivor Finale. The bus driver fainted and we flew off the highway crashing in a forest at 70mph. I was 1 of only 9 people able to walk away (albeit hunched over) and the first person to walk back to the highway to try to get help. We were so far off the road and hidden in the forest that police/fire/ems said they couldn’t find us.

The whole reason I was walking across America a second time was to try to get/earn 5 minutes of Survivor host Jeff Probst’s time. I don’t care how famous you are, if someone walks across the country and asks for five minutes of your time, you give it to them. If I couldn't convince Jeff I belong on Survivor in 5 minutes then it wasn't meant to be or we need a new host.... I’ve loved Survivor from originally watching season 1 over 22 years ago. I never missed watching an episode with my Grandma. But 16 years ago the dream took on a totally different meaning. I was walking around the Colerain middle school track with my friend Megan and asked her what’s the craziest thing I could do to get on Survivor. She said “walk across America”. She was obviously joking but then she died unexpectedly October 28, 2006 of a brain aneurysm and at that moment I knew I had to do it. So in April of 2009 I literally gave up everything in my life, made peace with God, and started walking. It took me 76 days to walk 2200 miles to Los Angeles but when I got there the main Casting Director told me I was “too nice, not greedy enough, and don’t have what it takes outwit anyone.“ Those words haunted me for 12 years to the point where I knew I had to walk across America again. They say you’re only an idiot if you do the same thing and expect different results but I never got anything in life without persistence. I have/had such a love-hate relationship watching Survivor for the last decade. No one belongs on the show more than I do. No one can even come close to my creativity. But I 'humbly" digress. I want this more than anyone else in the world, but when the bus crashed I knew the walk was over. I’ve worked so hard to try to get five minutes with Jeff so it devastated me to seemingly come so close (even though as luck would have it there was no LIVE Survivor finale/reunion). I desperately needed closure to this journey. I still need closure to this journey. I’d love to pick up where I left off but Survivor hasn’t been doing LIVE finales/reunions since Covid:(

I should’ve been happy that I survived that bus crash. But reading the amazingly kind comments everyone left me was like reading my own obituary. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing made sense. Everything was pointless. I’ve always considered myself an eternal optimist so I couldn’t believe those thoughts and words were coming out of my mouth. The only thing that gave me any faith in life were my nieces and nephews. I just didn’t care about anything else.

I’d give anything for Jeff Probst to look me in my stupid face and convince me he’d never put me on the show, so I could move on. How do you give up on something that means so much, that you’ve dedicated 22 years of your life to, that’s held you back from other major life goals like starting a family? I just don’t know how to give up, but I wish I could. The great Richard Simmons once told me that I was bigger than Survivor. I know what he meant by that but THIS is bigger than Survivor. This journey hasn’t hardly had anything to do with Survivor for many, many years. I set out to complete a goal, honor a friend, live a dream. I wish Megan would've said walk across America to do anything else other than Survivor because I would've accomplished it by now. But life isn't fair and it's not supposed to be. If everything in life was free or easy, nothing would be worth anything. But I do want closure. I still need closure.

So what have I learned from the bus crash over the past year? No two struggles or accidents are the same. I’m far more empathetic to people who have been through “easier or more traumatic" things. My friend Daniel Straus gave me some great advice and it is the only thing that has helped me with the PTSD. He said when I hear the sound that triggers the PTSD to try to associate it with something else, like hot chicks, lol.
Although I stopped teaching Zumba Fitness for almost a year, I learned being around other people is a good thing. My weekly vlogs forced me to entertain. Something I have loved doing for years on everything from large TV networks/movies to dressing up as Blippi at small kids birthday parties. I’ve accidentally been in the entertainment business for over a decade now. I sincerely appreciate you all liking, sharing, and commenting to keep me inspired enough to keep making weekly vlogs. It’s very humbling how many of you randomly tell me how much you look forward to my weekly videos.

Lastly, I really do appreciate everyone that shared their incredibly intimate/personal stories with me. It really has helped. It’s amazing how so many of you have overcome such incredible obstacles in life.

Ultimately I’m doing better. I’m not as grateful as I should be, but I’m getting there. I just wish I had closure to Survivor. I really need to find closure.

If you only remember three words I say, remember this, “LIVE YOUR DREAMS!”