Workplace Inefficiency – How Long to Mount a Key Rack?

We have probably all experienced workplace inefficiency. All the rules and regulations you have to follow end up turning a simple task into a complicated one. This story is completely anecdotal, so treat it as such, but I found it rather amusing. By the end of this video, we’ll answer the question, “How long does it take to mount a key rack in a coal mine?”. The answer may surprise you.

Before the pandemic, a guy I know used to work on a large coal mine here in Queensland (I won’t tell you which one). He was one of the maintenance guys, though he didn’t work on mining equipment. His job was purely in general maintenance, things like doors that needed fixing, or windows, or cupboards, or whatever. One day, he got a work order dated a couple of days prior asking him to go to the onsite office. The manager there needed something mounted on the office wall – I think it was a clock, or a picture frame, or a key rack, or something like that. Let’s just say it was a key rack. It was only fairly small and only required a couple of screws to be drilled into the wall. The workers in the office had offered to do it, but the manager told them “No, we have to follow protocol, so call up maintenance”, because you know, workplace health and safety and all that. If an untrained worker was to drill into a wall and get electrocuted, or fall off a ladder, then of course, the company would be liable.

So anyway, the guy I know, let’s just call him “my mate” for the sake of brevity, he got out his stud finder, or voltage detector, or whatever, found the perfect place to mount the key rack, marked the drill holes with a pencil, and then proceeded to go through the mandatory safety checklist. From what I understand, the checklist was literally titled “Penetration of Walls, Floors, and Ceilings”. It seems to be a real thing, because I just looked it up. Everything was fine, except for one point, “Inspection conducted by qualified electrician”. As my mate wasn’t an electrician, he told the manager that he wouldn’t be able to mount the key rack straight away as he had to go find an electrician to sign off on it. The manager was a bit upset as he said he had already been waiting a couple of days for this to get done.

So my mate went straight over to the electrical section and told them what he needed, but they told him that they were extremely busy at the moment and that he needed to come back the next day. So he came back the next day and told them again what he needed. Again, they told him that they were way too busy and got him to fill out a work order. (This is the second work order, mind you, in order to get this key rack up on the wall). He asked how long it might take and they said probably about three days. So he went and told the office manager that an electrician won’t be available for another few days and to sit tight.

Three days went past and still no contact from the electrician. At the end of the third day, my mate got called up again to the office. They were asking him “Where’s the electrician? Why isn’t our key rack up yet?”. (This a multi-billion dollar company, mind you). He told the manager that he’d go check on the electricians the next day.

Another three weeks went past. Again, my mate was called up to the office and the manager asked in a fairly droll way, “Any news on the key rack?”. “Sorry mate, they still haven’t got back to me. I’ll go check on them now for you”. So my mate went up to the electrical department once again, and it just happened that the electrical supervisor was there having lunch. “Excuse me, mate. I’ve been waiting weeks on this work order to get an electrician down to sign off on this drill hole. Is there anybody available?”. “Look mate, we’re busy! There’s so much other stuff to do! Come back later!”. My mate just looked at him with a rather sullen look. “Oh fine! I’ll come down now then! I’m having my lunch, but I’ll come and do it, don’t worry!”. Anyway, the supervisor got up out of his chair, walked down to the office, inspected the wall, got out his stud finder, and immediately signed off on the work order. It took him all of 30 seconds. Subsequently, my mate got out his drill, drilled the holes, and mounted the key rack. It took him about a minute.

Isn’t it funny, in the home environment, if I wanted to mount something on the wall, I just do it, right? It takes me all of five minutes. I don’t need to call anybody or get anybody to sign anything, but in the corporate environment where there’s so much red tape, things tend to blow out. So in answering the question, “How long does it take to mount a key rack in a coal mine?” – 29 days apparently.

MUSIC
Melancholia by Godmode