What skills will my cat need to survive the collapse of civilization?

There are those who think it’s necessary to shelter our kitties against the evils of the world, but at the American Association of Patriots we do not believe in coddling our cats—only cuddling them! Don’t be afraid to expose your cat to the worst the world has to offer, including those foul agents of our enemies—birds. Educate your cat now about how horrible birds are; otherwise, later you risk birds teaching your cat a lesson of their own…a lesson in murder!
What is the best way to teach my cat the skills they’ll need?
The good news is that teaching your cat the basics of wilderness survival doesn’t have to be a chore. While cats can be difficult to train, they are also naturally curious. Contrary to the famous saying, in this case curiosity can actually saveyour cat’s life! The key is nurturing this curiosity and making games to help them learn the fundamental techniques they’ll need to survive. After all, you can’t spell fundamentals without f-u-n! Instead of presenting your cat with a toy mouse to play with, have your cat bat around the iodine tablets he’ll use to purify tainted water. Rather than having your kitten chase a laser pointer, teach her how to hot-wire an abandoned car. By using techniques like these, the sky’s the limit for the amount of life-saving information you can impart to your kitty. Remember, if you do it right, disaster preparation will be an amewsing experience for both you and your cat!
What skills will my cat need to survive the collapse of civilization?