My fellow purrtriots,

You hold in your hands the only book in print today with the courage to tell it like it is. To stand up to the idolaters, the liberals, the international bankers, and the secret kings of Europe who want to destroy America and replace it with their one-world government. To bring about our downfall, these villains have targeted what is surely our greatest national resource: our cats. They know that no other cats in the world are as cute as ours. American cats have the softest bellies, the fluffiest tails, and the loudest purrs. We are the greatest country in the history of the world, and we have the cats to match. Our enemies know they have no chance of defeating us while we stand tall with our cats by our sides, and so for years these scoundrels have worked in the shadows, trying to weaken us and our cats. Stripping from our cats their Second Amendment right to bear arms! Undermining the faith of our kittens by teaching them the lie of evolution! Addicting our feline friends to the scourge of catnip! The cats of America are under siege. Whether they are hiding in their favorite cardboard box, climbing a tree, or napping in a sunbeam, our cats are under attack. And they desperately need our help.
This book is a compilation of the eight brochures that we have deemed most important to maintaining the well-being of our cats, body and soul. Our country—and our cats—stands at a precipice. Will we rise to the challenge and forge our nation into a shining beacon of liberty that would make our Founding Fathers proud?
It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge contained within these pages, you and your cats can make America great again!