How Can These 2 Be The Candidates? (With Only One Result)

2 years ago
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#toryleadership #PM #bar #barman #parody #satire #rishisunak #readyforrishi #liztruss #boris #borisjohnson

Barman Keys gives his view on the upcoming Tory leadership election, particularly in light of a new Daily Mail poll that has Boris as the preferred choice among readers as "next Tory leader". But does the election result make a difference? Barman is unconvinced and is hitting the drink because of it!

Transcript:

I’ve been very critical of Boris Johnson’s decent into woke tyrant - who’s been on a left-wing bender and awoke with a politically transmitted disease

Because it was either corrupt or carless and neither are acceptable

But a poll conducted in the Daily Mail found Boris to be the comfortable favourite when asked who would you like to see as next Tory Leader?

He’s a greasy little piglet

And I’ve become more sympathetic to the notion ever since we’ve got it down to the last two in the leadership race: Rishi Sunak or Liz Truss,

(drinks)

A two-faced backstabbing smooth-operating salesman or flip-flopping, Remain-backing, Theresa May 2.0?

(drinks)

Boris seems almost benign, cancerous as he undoubtedly is, in comparison to these two puppets of the continuation, cut from the same cloth

Etched onto the same metal

As the rest of the Klausschwabian clique of incognito supervillains running national governments and resetting the global order

Without any concern for our consent

By making freedom dependent on what politicians and experts consider to be for the greater good in the next inevitable crisis

Pandemics, fuels shortages, food shortages, war, climate lockdowns, they’re coming

So Sunak, Truss, Starmer, just a different face to manage our decline, a choice on who’ll administrate our sellout and enslavement.

Same with Boris, but he’s more popular because he has character unlike the rest of the polystyrene cups that applied to be leader

Except Kemi Badendoch of course, the only unique voice in the bovine herd who lined up for I want to be the next tory leader , get me outta here!

But the Tory MP’s, in their infinite wisdom, got rid of her.

And so Boris is who’d they prefer, not because he might change direction, but because he he’ll entertain us more, while on the path to a suffocating expertocracy unchallenged by an uncritical and compliant media

Yeah, that’s where we - because he’ll entertain us

(Drinks)

I’ve got work to do, so go on, clear off

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