Meghan Markle ADMITS SHE CAN CRY ON CUE (Interview Parody)

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Meghan is asked about the resurfaced video in which she boasts about being about to cry on demand. Dr. Jackson asks whether she's employed this skill in her personal life but Harry jumps in to defend....

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Transcript:

CJ: A little while ago a video resurfaced Meghan where you claim to be able to cry on the spot.

H: One of her many talents.

M: (Smug smile)

CJ: “Give me three seconds”, you reply, when asked how long it would take to squeeze some insincere brine from the corner of one of your eyes.

H: Her left eye

CJ: Thank you Harry; one can easily understand how you can use this ability in your career as an actress Meghan, such that it was, but the obvious question is, have you utilised this capacity in your personal life?

H: See that’s the thing about Meghan, she’s got these superhuman like powers, but she won’t use them in real life, you know, on the civilian population, which is so humble, so moving that it actually brings a tear to my eye.

M: Oh on, I won’t never make myself cry in day to day life, no matter how easy it is for me and how many advantages I could get from it,

H: She’s a pillar of sincerity

M: Yeah, you know, what you see is what you get, right. I don’t like fake people.

H: Ha - they're so easy to spot!

M: Crying on the spot is a gift, an important gift that shouldn’t be used recklessly, right. The last thing you want is a reputation of making a big deal out of things, or trying to get your own way by bringing on theatrical tears

CJ: No, that would be unconscionable.

H: My Meghan only ever cries at the appropriate and correct time. And they're real tears, not Hollywood tears

CJ: I’m sure Harry

H: She cries at sad movies, the suffering of others, at those beautiful moments where Archie and Lilibet do something adorable…

M: Yeah, just at all the normal stuff

H: …if anything happens to a poor innocent animal, when people vote Republican, or if I disagree with Meghan and try to get my own opinion across…

M: Yeah, well, you know how much it hurts me to listen to someone’s else opinion when it doesn’t perfectly align with mine

H: I know my little cheesecake - I’m just a hotheaded ginger sometimes, you know that

CJ: Eye-opening - how do you fend off accusations that you employed this skill at the Queen’s wedding Meghan - with cameramen snapping pictures of that solitary tear winding down your left-cheek?

H: Yes, but how can you prove it came from her left eye?

M: What’s the implication here, that I would use the funeral of Britain's longest reigning monarch, knowing it would be viewed by literally billions of people, to showcase my fabricated emotion by the way of fake tears to the cameras?

CJ: Yes

H: I’ve said once already - Meghan only cries in real life when she’s genuinely upset, or in a bubbling rage, like when we were shaking hands with well-wishers and those two girls avoided you eyes, didn’t shake your hand and were laughing under their breath

M: (angry) I don’t remember that.

H: Course you do. Tears were flowing when we got back home that night - and not just yours!