Provincetown Pair of Dice or Paradox Lost (Man (D) Lights MI Naught)

DEATH BY LA MAMBA
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It is actually a rather popular joke amongst Brits, and maybe a few Anglophiles in the Colonies, across the pond, as they say, about two members of the aristocracy, stiff upper lip types, who had fashioned themselves as adventurers and explorers, and who had jetted off on vacay to explore some exotic rain forest, whereupon they had stumbled upon a gathering of indigenous people who immediately reacted with consternation, accusing these foreigners of trespassing on some sacred tribal rite. There is a clean, closer to Disney type, at most rated PG version of the joke, and there is a Benny Hill version, but, the bottom line is that it is clear that the daredevils, who had only before imagined themselves in death defying expeditions had a close encounter with the real thing and experienced a bit of evolutionary pressure before even getting to the point of being able to answer those great existential questions.

I have, in pandemic, let's assume like most everyone, had the most delightful time in correspondence with personalities like Kristian G. Andersen, the zoonotic evolution stud, Linsey C. Marr, the rock star environmentalist from V Tech, and even fringe folks like snake venom in the water, Dr. Ardis, and the lead author from Boston University who decided to find a better mouse trap with a cultivated coronavirus, but especially after reading not the MMWR report that was published in time for my opportunity to finally gain a hearing on my petition for injunction against the unrestricted observation of Pride Month in 2021, just before the world woke up surprised and astonished to discover that over a thousand gay men had suffered breakthrough infections in an alleged super spreader event, the exact adverse outcome my litigation had attempted to avert, while folks called me a science denier and homophobe, the after action review by Dr. Katherine Siddle, who had not only participated with 23 scientists in the original report, one of three persons who had disclosed they had been the recipients of CDC grant funding, reminded me of the Benny Hill version of the Death by La Mamba Joke.

And, if you are perfectly filled with pride about the idea that one dude, obviously not from Massachusetts, or an Islander, going off to the gay capital paradise of the world, in the month after the celebration of Pride Month, which escaped without a similar event, finding an intimate connection sufficient to transfer a biological agent with which even with the omicron variant you have a better chance of winning a coin toss than catching from your cohabitating roommate, lover or spouse, in the optimal conditions for transmitting infection, over a month with over a thousand other folks looking for love in all of the sanctioned places, at selected and identified party venues, we all have our different tastes, but I still giggle when I see Joe Pesci in the toga in JFK. To each his own.

However, can you explain exactly how all of these persons, at only select venues, managed to make a love connection over the course of only a month, with only one guy, obviously from out of state and not an Islander, and not also infect anybody at any restaurant, gas station, convenience store, or any place else, fduring the Independence Day month in which the President had told every American we could enjoy, if everyone did their part, in an explosive coronavirus experience that failed to spread anywhere in Massachusetts or any other state?

Can you, as a follow up, explain how the American Patient Zero was able to fail to infect 68 trace contacts, a fete a member of a choir in Skagit County--a no man's land where you don't go unless you live there--could not do, nor apparently with anyone else he encountered on the way to the church choir rehearsal, but yet find, again with this virus in lower power form that today you have a better chance of winning a coin toss than getting infected from your boo, spread his unique contagion, like rifling marks identifying a firearm, or fingerprints identifying a unique person, all around the state in just a few days after his return to the Puget Sound area, especially if the easy answer that would reconcile these anomalies was a deployment of the same batch at multiple locations, and even if this virus isn't stupid, that would appear to be the easiest way to make this occur.

But maybe there are actually coronavirus that can conquer the world, without reading science reports, and find the best way to efficiently attack your respiratory tract, but are waiting for the coronavirus government to tell them what to do so they don't have to work so hard.