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DaamnTalk -Free Speech & Human Rights also means PARENTAL RIGHTS - DaamnKam - DailyDaamn 7-30-2022
This was It. Our moment of truth; We had finally found some shoes that allowed Us to freely walk about! We no longer had to be what Our scars told Us We were! This isn’t to say We weren't still nervous, anxious, worried or depressed, quite the contrary. Hindsight has shown that what this experience did allow is the margin for error that We had never graced Ourself with before. We were taking Ourselves too seriously & for some strange reason began to undergo periods of time where We didn’t feel self-conscious, uncomfortable in Our own skin or worry too much of what others thought of Us. This was one of the most blissfully authentic human experiences We've ever been swept up in; clean & sober from every substance known to man, (even cigarettes), regularly meeting a sponsor to work the steps of a recovery program, launching Our own professional residential painting business, paying restitution for the wake of chaos We had trailing behind Us and We'd unknowingly began to ‘Live Our amends’. Unaware We're soon to discover that just because We changed – doesn’t mean anything else had. We had to discover during that first year of ‘Recovery’, (spiritual sobriety), just because Kam was (finally) doing what Kam should have DaamnWell been doing all along – didn’t mean people are going to roll out a red carpet. We've learned a little of a whole lot and learned a whole lot on just a little. One such course We've taken more times than We care to admit seems to continually present itself in disguise; ‘Faith without works is dead’, ‘Closed mouth won’t get fed’, & “This is a daily reprieve from a medically recognized disease of the mind – contingent on the maintenance of one’s spiritual life, (program).”
Recovery IS discovery. Deceit & dishonesty are intrinsic utilities for the diseases of Alcoholism & Addiction making no exception between Our own two ears. We've been able to trace one of the root causes of suffering, (problems), to holding such high esteem for searching & learning about fundamental truth, yet in a perpetual place of battle against Ourself. To this day We're not sure whether Our identity struggle fueled an insatiable appetite for ‘universal truth’ or if Our willingness to play with the nature of reality is what actually created what has undoubtedly become a dance between what We regard as Our greatest asset & that which is semi-frequently the most dominating of constraints.
Whether religious, spiritual atheist or agnostic, *The most important question one can ask themself is, often the most difficult, “WHO AM I?” We will back that statement with everything We hold dear. If this were a scientific paper, We'd make that the main hypothesis, though it wouldn’t compute with an unprovable thesis & immeasurable variables. Every one of Us is different. For any general theory to become factual is an impossibility; not to say it isn’t testable, valuable or worth investigating. To that I can only offer the opinion of the man you’ve been getting to know in real life, online or perhaps simply through the course of this brief synopsis. We've spent significantly more time than 'normal' studying, critically thinking & reporting the philosophical nature of life. This invariably led Us to wanting to share Our findings, so We'd strike up converse-sessions with those most knowledgeable that We knew, in whatever subject it was that pulled our passion. Inevitably, for Us its Music, Politics & 'Episodic interview' podcasts, such as JRE, 'The Joe Rogan Experience.
‘Having a desire for something’ & ‘having something’ are worlds apart. Underneath the layers of conditioning accumulated through the course of any given human experience resides the essence of one’s totality. The Pisces in Us desires nothing more than to leave this on a note of optimism and the realist within is craving some sort of closure on this last chapter, (2016 – 2021). Our Daamn ego is patting 'Kam' on the back for fashion of pen & constraint of tongue exhibited throughout an awful betrayal - horrific lies & allegations - displacing Our son from his father. The scared, hurt little one inside Us wants to verbally defend by attack of threat, providing direct opposition to the co-dependent casserole We’ve digested into the biology of being, steadily whispering at Us, “you should have just toughed it out”. Thank God that the newfound ‘inner dad’ voice has been most victorious with the calm assertion of reason, (&pause), since January 2nd, 2020; this source has felt truest. The most resilient & subsequently the most sought after of all; A ‘Muzikal’ blend of Our own fathers vocal tenor in melodic juxtaposition against the more demanding, less harmonious ‘self-talk’ We've become accustomed to. (We wouldn’t have it any other way!) #Recovery #Muzik #Ohana #DaamnTalk (all in that concise order.)
“When we are unable to see beyond the sum of our parts, we become the sums of our scars.” -DaamnKam (of) DT.DJO
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