Creating Strong Independent Kids – Being Dad with Phil Lower, September 28, 2022

As my kids grow and as my wife and I become stronger in our marriage, I realize how much has changed.

As independent people we had our own lives and interests. We then chose to become involved or intimate, not sexually because we waited until marriage, but sharing emotional resources.

When we got married, we were two independent people that brought our resources together to work as a married couple.

That created interdependence where we could walk in and out and handled our lives as individuals and together.

Then we started having kids and those kids were completely dependent on us. Then I became critically ill and now we three were completely dependent on my wife.

Then we hit a huge financial challenge because of my health, but while I was healing we became completely dependent on my efforts.

Now we are much healthier and interdependent again.

What this has taught me is that as a Dad, as much as I want to protect my kids, they need to be independent and strong.

Healthy independence means they have to have strong resources in intellect, decision-making, and emotional energy.

They need to understand that not every decision they will make is right, but they can learn from the experiences.

It’s hard seeing them grow up but I also have to trust them so when they get hurt, they grow from it. They need to be able to balance independence and interdependence to help keep them from destructive relationships.

Their ability to tell me No sometimes hurts. And, I have to remember they are their own individual persons. I can be a Protector as they grow. At some point, I have to convert into a Guide while they learn to protect themselves.

Thoughts from Philippians 4:6

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