Rishi Sunak Prime Minister launches Tory leadership bid releasing campaign video (Honest & Spoof)

2 years ago
22

Rishi Sunak Prime Minister launches Tory leadership bid releasing campaign video (Honest & Spoof)
#rishisunak #conservativeparty

LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT AN INDIAN GUY WHO ISN'T A TYPICAL BRITISH ASIAN – I WASN’T A TAXI DRIVER, TAKEAWAY OWNER OR TEACHER, INSTEAD I WAS A FINANCIAL ANALYST, WORKED FOR A HEDGE FUND, FOUNDED MY OWN HEDGE FUND FIRM AND DIRECTOR OF AN INVESTMENT FIRM.MY FATHER WAS A GP & MY MOTHER WAS A PHARMACIST, HER NAME IS USHA (OOSHA), AND AT THE LOCAL INDIAN RESTAURANT, I WAS AN USHER.FAMILY IS EVERYTHING TO ME, SOUNDS LIKE A PHRASE BORROWED FROM ONE OF THE FAST AND FURIOUS FILMS…IT WAS BRITAIN, OUR COUNTRY THAT GAVE THEM AND MILLIONS LIKE THEM THE CHANCE OF A BETTER FUTURE,BUT IT WAS INDIA WHICH GAVE ME MILLIONS, I GOT INTO POLITICS AFTER MY FINANCIAL CAREER BECAUSE I WANTED TOOUR COUNTRY FACES HUGE CHALLENGES…WHICH CONTESTANT WILL WIN LOVE ISLAND UK 2022 AND WHO WILL BE THE 4TH LOVE ISLAND SUICIDE DEATH?DO WE CONFRONT THIS MOMENT WITH HONESTY, SERIOUSNESS, AND DETERMINATION, HONESTY - I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE ARISTOCRATS, UPPER CLASS, WORKING CLASS...UM...NOT WORKING CLASSSERIOUSNESS – I’M TEETOTAL BUT I LIKE TO POSE FOR PHOTO OPS BY PULLING PINTSDETERMINATION - I'M ALREADY THE RICHEST MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT & WANT TO BE THE RICHEST PM TOOOR DO WE TELL OURSELVES COMFORTING FAIRY TALES THAT MIGHT MAKE US FEEL BETTER IN THE MOMENT BUT WILL LEAVE OUR CHILDREN WORSE OFF TOMORROW? WELL HERE'S A MONEY FAIRY TALE...UP AND DOWN THE CITY ROAD, IN AND OUT THE EAGLETHAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GOES, POP! GOES THE WEASEL (BORIS)THAT'S WHY I'M STANDING TO BE THE NEXT LEADER OF THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY AND YOUR PRIME MINISTER.LIKE WILL SMITH, MY WIFE HAS ALSO BEEN ATTACKED, AT LEAST I DIDN'T GET UP AND SLAPI HAVE ACCUSATIONS OF HAVING LOTS OF INVESTMENTS IN A BLIND TRUST, THE BLIND REFERS TO THE PUBLIC WHO DON’T KNOW WHERE THE INVESTMENTS ARE,MY VALUES ARE NON-NEGOTIABLE. PATRIOTISM, FAIRNESS, HARD WORK.PATRIOTISM - I HELD A US GREEN CARD UNTIL LAST YEAR WHEN I HAD TO SURRENDER IT & MY WIFE IS SO PATRIOTIC THAT SHE DECLARED HERSELF AS A NON-DOMICILE UK RESIDENT FAIRNESS - WELL APART FROM THE POLICE ISSUING ME A FINE ALONG WITH BORIS OVER PARTYGATE BEING THE FIRST CHANCELLOR IN BRITISH HISTORY TO HAVE BEEN FOUND TO HAVE BROKEN THE LAW WHILE IN OFFICE.HARD WORK – JUST MARRY A BILLIONAIRE'S DAUGHTER!AS YOU KNOW, I LOVE COKE…MY BROTHER SANJAY TOLD ME IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO EAT SOME MENTOS AT THE SAME TIME…HAHA WELL THAT DIDN’T WORK OUT TOO WELL…A BIT LIKE BORIS’S POLITICAL CAREER…MY WEBSITE READYFORRISHI.COM WAS REGISTERED 2 DAYS BEFORE 2021 XMAS, HALF A YEAR BEFORE I RESIGNED AND STARTED MY BID TO BE YOUR NEXT PM.THERE I’VE TOLD YOU EVERYTHING ABOUT ME, I’M RUNNING TO BE OUR NEXT PRIME MINISTER BECAUSE IT’S YOUR STORIES THAT MATTER THE MOST…TO YOU…YOUR FUTURES

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