AM I SPECIAL? UNIQUE? WORTHWHILE? by J Loren Norris

AM I SPECIAL? UNIQUE? WORTHWHILE?

“Most people have asked this question in one form or another. Maybe it was about their branding, maybe it was about being a sibling, a twin or an entrepreneur in a very crowded space. The real question is less about BRANDING and more about IDENTITY, less about your UNIQUE SELLING PROPOSITION, more about your UNIQUE HUMAN CONNECTIONS.” J Loren Norris

AM I SPECIAL?
​This first element of the question has really fought a tough battle in the past generation or two. Modern, especially western culture has worked SO VERY HARD to make sure that everyone feels special, they have nearly removed the lines of being special. Everyone gets a trophy, a ribbon and the accolades of being winners, even if they made no effort whatsoever. But more dangerously IMHO, the work of division, separation and false distinctions in an effort to make sure everyone FEELS SPECIAL has done great damage to the concept of true identity. There is an odd dichotomy which constantly cries out, “I am special and unique just like THIS GROUP of also self declared unique and special people.” We want to be special, but not to the extent of being the only one who is that kind of special, then we are alone, a freak, an outcast. We want to be special, just not THAT special.

AM I UNIQUE?
The next part of this question is often expressed as individuals really push the envelope in modern culture. From hair colors, to tattoos, body piercings, flamboyant clothing styles, audacious automobiles and over the top party til you drop lifestyles all captured for the world to see on Instagram, YouTube, Twitter and TikTok - the social media place to yell LOOK AT ME. The effort exerted by some people to stand out, become and maintain their place at the center of attention, to always cause the lights and the cameras to be intently focused on them, knows no limit. In case you will not answer the question for them, they will certainly, narcissistically, answer for you “LOOK HOW UNIQUE I AM!”

AM I WORTHWHILE?
Let me throw on the emotional and relational EMERGENCY BRAKE at this point. When this question reaches the level of intensity where it takes on this formation of thought, self injury becomes a concern. Its one thing, an important thing, a growing up and finding my place in this world thing to ask AM I SPECIAL? and if so how? And what does that mean for the direction of my life? Am I worthwhile seems to be the same, but I feel it is a turning point into a very dark space. Questioning my unique attributes as an offering to the world is a powerful journey of discovery. Questioning whether or not I matter, whether I have value, whether I am worthwhile, that’s the beginning of a crisis unfolding. In my way distant past I contemplated suicide and I remember with chills the thoughts such as “no one will miss me”, “no one will even notice I am gone.”

Leaders, parents, teachers, if you are mentoring, coaching or training someone in their personal growth and development and you encounter the first two elements of this series of questions, celebrate with them, they are on a path to awareness which will revolutionize their life and legacy. If however, they devolve into the questions of worthwhile, worthy of living, value as a human, unless you are trained in suicidal intervention, it is time to seek a hand off. DO NOT ABANDON them, love them and call for back up. EVERY LIFE MATTERS.

Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/)

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