PEOPLE ARE PRETTY SIMPLE THEY REPEAT BEHAVIOR WHICH IS REWARDED THEY CEASE BEHAVIOR WHICH IS NOT

PEOPLE ARE PRETTY SIMPLE - IN GENERAL - THEY REPEAT BEHAVIOR WHICH IS ACCEPTED AND REWARDED THEY CEASE BEHAVIOR WHICH IS NOT

WHAT WOULD YOU DO MORE OF, IF YOU GOT PAID FOR IT?

Let’s put this question in the frame of your current job. You have likely heard or even said the words, “That’s not in my job description” or “They don’t pay me enough to do that.” These statements reflect an attitude which is powerful, palpable and highly contagious. This attitude permeates the work place, the family, the education system and the society at large. It is a prime example of the psychology behind the title of this article. People will do more of what they are rewarded for doing. They will often REFUSE to do what they are not handsomely rewarded for doing.

Want more gifts from your spouse? Express overwhelming appreciation for the smallest gifts and over time the size, volume, magnitude and value of the gifts will increase.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CHANGED YOUR BEHAVIOR?

Honestly, what was the motivating factor the last time you made a major change in your life? Did you quit smoking? Give up alcohol? Stop yelling at your family? Leave a job or career? What made you do it? Was it the lack of genuine pay off - no reward for continuing? Or was it the threat of negative consequences? Behavioral modification can be accomplished through a negative consequence almost every time. In many cases, just the threat of negative consequences alone will suffice to alter behavior, provided such threats have been carried out in the past. Idle threats don’t carry much power toward change.

Counting to THREE, six dozen times, with no actual consequences trains a child to believe the consequences are never coming. Time out as a punishment is often quickly weighed in the mind as an acceptable consequence for taking the toy, breaking the dish, throwing a tantrum or even fighting at school.

Like the $25 fine for parking in handicap spaces - its rationalized as an acceptable “price to pay for convenience” and “Low risk - high reward equation.”

HOW SOON DO YOU BEGIN TO INFLUENCE BEHAVIOR?

In any relationship, boundaries and expectations should be among the first conversations ever conducted. In parenting, the first time you see them respond to the word NO in a firm tone, discipline has begun. In a dating relationship, the same is true. When the behavior does not change in response to a firm verbal reprimand, physical response may be required. If the behavior still persists, negative consequences will ensue. On the job, in society, in the courts or in congress, the same rule of social contract has been in place as long as humans have lived in societies together.

One of the challenges we face across the globe in 2020 is the reality that we are seeing the second or third generation of people who did not experience immediate and swift negative consequences for bad choices leading to bad behavior. The result is an expectation of “getting away with it.” The increasing level of defiance, disregard for the well being of others, and disrespect for the rule of law is seen at every level, in every culture, country and community around the world. The continuation of this mindset, attitude and behavior will result in utter anarchy.

Leaders MUST begin to address and adjust the attitudes displayed in every splinter of society if we hope to see the tide stemmed and civility returned.

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