Premium Only Content
Hocus Pocus - Episode 0131
Hocus Pocus: “Hang Him on a Hook and Let Me Play With Him!”
Welcome to the Great British Baking Show: Witch Edition! If the Sanderson Sisters don’t become immortal on Halloween night, they will turn into dust! But don’t worry. According to Jason’s cook book, if you don’t have farm fresh witch dust, you can use non-dairy creamer, and no one will know the difference. #BareFootHotMessa
Regardless of the ingredients in your recipe, don’t let the Kurgan lick the bowl; he’ll make it weird. Also, make absolutely sure that none of your lemons come from trolls, especially those who hate the sultry tones of Darth Jader.
Have you ever seen a cat inflate after being destroyed by a city bus? More to the point, are you even living if you haven’t? Luckily, our biggest fangirl, Katie, has returned to the studio to help us answer such questions!
As children, we thought that Hocus Pocus was a movie about witches. We were so naïve. This particular movie is naught but a fable to ward children against talking black cats, mouth-stitched corpses, and ANYONE who happens to be a virgin.
Most importantly, Hocus Pocus helps us to reiterate this lesson: STOP READING ALOUD FROM CREEPY BOOKS.
Despite the Sanderson Sisters being the 3 Stooges of witches, Hocus Pocus teaches us that:
Only bougie people drink apple cider and pumpkin spice ANYTHING.Vacuums SUCK as flying transport.Passing the Man Bar is far easier than passing than actual bar exam. Just ask Jason.
Ultimately, we want to watch Bette Midler take on Emperor Palpatine in a lightening fight. Disney? *clap clap* Make it so. If you make this happen, we’ll “forget” about this “children’s movie” that focused so heavily on dead cats and sweet yabbos. We “promise”…
-
6:14:53
Akademiks
8 hours agoDrake Sued his Label for Botting Kendrick Lamar Streams to 'End Him'. Kendrick Drops new video!
54.2K12 -
0:46
Dr Disrespect
14 hours agoIt's not just a stream... it's an experience
324K1.71K -
5:45:38
80sKiid
9 hours ago $28.47 earnedFirst stream on RUMBLE!!!!!
95.2K5 -
3:56:31
JakeParker
9 hours ago $14.17 earnedJakeParker is LIVE on Rumble
54K -
8:09:23
SpartakusLIVE
10 hours ago $26.20 earnedThe Duke rallies squad for LAUGHS into the night with a SMATTERING of TOXIC banter
87.5K17 -
1:03:51
Flyover Conservatives
1 day agoGeneration Z’s Revolution: 17 Year Old Author on the Return of Faith, Family, and the End of Feminism - Hannah Faulkner; Economic Update - Dr. Kirk Elliott | FOC Show
49.1K2 -
1:12:43
Adam Does Movies
13 hours ago $20.91 earnedMoviegoers Are Singing Now! + Lilo & Stitch + Sonic 3 - LIVE!
83.8K7 -
1:26:05
Donald Trump Jr.
16 hours agoRegime Media Imploding: What’s Next for MSNBC? Plus Michael Knowles & Alex Marlow | TRIGGERED Ep.194
235K245 -
37:26
Glenn Greenwald
13 hours agoGlenn Takes Your Questions: On Trump's Cabinet, The G20 Summit, and More | SYSTEM UPDATE LOCALS SPECIAL
96.9K62 -
2:10:20
We Like Shooting
20 hours ago $3.54 earnedWe Like Shooting 586 (Gun Podcast)
28.1K1