How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?

5 years ago
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How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love?

It’s one of the trickiest subjects to talk about: Love. And most people are just as confused when they’re stuck wondering “How long does it take to fall in love?”

This is a big question, and I’m going to give you a pretty definite answer to that question before we’re done here.

But to even begin talking about this, we have to define that point in time where you fall in love with him – or he falls in love with you.

“What Is Love?”

I’ll spare you the millions of definitions I’ve heard about love over my decades studying this magical force of the universe. Instead, I’ll jump to what I consider a healthy definition of love. And then we’ll contrast that with the not-so-healthy ideas about love.

Carlos’ Definition of Romantic Love:

“LOVE – the romantic kind – is an intense feeling of shared attraction and connection.”

You’ll notice that I did not say this love even had to be between TWO people. Although we often think of love just as a couple, we can sometimes feel that sense of connection and bond with someone all by ourselves.

But for it to be a complete version of love, it does require the object of your desire to share in some of the love to “complete the circuit.” Otherwise, it’s incomplete.

Do I think that definition captures EVERYTHING about love?

Nope. Not by a long shot!

In fact, the REAL definition of love that I like even better is MUCH deeper – and much more spiritual.

Wanna hear it? Okay – here it is:

“LOVE: The relaxing of the physical mind/body into the infinite spiritual self.”

I bet you’re wondering what the heck that means, huh?

Well – stick around and I’ll come back to that…!

You can’t really say how long it takes to get somewhere until you define the destination. And this is doubly true for Love!

You can’t possibly say how long it takes to get there until you’ve got an idea of what the real feeling of love IS.

Which begs the next question:

What is NOT Love?

This question is at least as important as asking what love IS. Mostly because humans are really easily fooled when it comes to their emotions. (Yeah, that includes me & everyone else!)

WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not lust…

Sorry romantic movie lovers! Falling into bed with someone does NOT mean you’re in love.

It is, however, the way we sometimes justify moving too fast.

Let’s say Boy has a crush on Girl. They have strong chemistry, and they fall into bed on their first date.

What’s most likely going to happen is this:

Both of them are likely to have a great time. I mean, c’mon! Sexy time is fun with someone you’re really hot for…

The woman is more likely to need an excuse for what happened. After all, she just slept with a guy on the first date!

Judgment happens: “Oh my gosh!” she thinks. “I’m a sl*t!” (I’m not saying this is true at all. But let’s be BRUTALLY honest here: There is still a double standard for sex, even in our supposedly “woke” culture.)

Rationalization happens: In order to NOT feel a little sl-tty for jumping right into bed, it might be easier to justify it with … LOVE! You must have done that because you were in love! So it’s okay! You’re not a “sl*t” anymore…

Now, I’m sure that what I just said is going to “trigger” more than my fair share of other “woke folk” out there. But in all fairness to myself, this isn’t something I just made up. A woman’s sexual “chastity” has always been viewed as more ‘sacred’ than a man’s.

So don’t fall for the old trick we play on ourselves when we pretend we must actually feel more than we do for someone just because we got physically intimate too fast.

Don’t make one mistake into an even bigger one!

WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not jealous and possessive…

Just because you have strong feelings for someone, and you find yourself worrying about them with other people, this does not mean you love them. In fact, it might mean there’s something going on with YOU that needs attention.

Jealousy is not love…

It’s closer to distrust, anger, and insecurity.

While you may find yourself struggling with jealous feelings from time to time with someone, this doesn’t mean it’s Love.

WHAT LOVE ISN’T: It’s not ...

For the rest - Watch The Video!

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Carlos Cavallo
Dating Advice Guru
http://www.datingadviceguru.com
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How long does it take to fall in love?
https://youtu.be/terMzugI29M

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