20 Best Funny Short DAD JOKES, Puns & One Liners #41

#dadjokes #shortjokes #jokes

1. I ate a kids meal at McDonald’s today…
His mother seemed pretty upset.
2. Did you know you can open your car door with your cargo shorts??
Because those are your khakis.
3. Whenever I think of the 80s my first thought is of a boom box.
But that’s just a stereo type.
4. What do you call an unimpressed robot?
Sigh borg.
5. What’s the difference between iron man and aluminum man?
Iron Man stops the bad guys, aluminum man foils their plans.
6. Where do rainbows go when they’re bad?
Prism. It’s a light sentence.
7. What do you call a cowardly dog?
A Golden Retreater.
8. I got thrown out of church for claiming Jesus spoke with a lisp.
It was a real slap in the faith.
9. What do you call a dad who studied dad jokes?
A sigh entist.
10. What's Albert Einstein's rapper name?
MC Squared.
11. What's a good pasta to make on Friday the 13th?
Fettuccine Afraid O.
12. I rented a limo for $300, but it didn't come with a driver.
All that money, and nothing to chauffeur it.
13. My son wrote “only wimps break bones” on my arm cast.
He just had to add insult to injury.
14. I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork...
I think I nailed it but nobody saw it.
15. Did you hear about the lion who ate his family?
He swallowed his pride.
16. I love dad jokes about optometrists.
The cornea the better.
17. I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden center.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias.
18. My doctor told me my DNA was backwards.
I said AND?
19. I accidentally swallowed a teaspoon of food coloring…
The doctor says I’ll be fine, but I feel like I died a little on the inside.
20. If towels could tell jokes...
They'd have the driest sense of humor.