1. The 💩 has hit the fan with the release of my book RADIO DAZE!

    The 💩 has hit the fan with the release of my book RADIO DAZE!

    43
  2. Natl Spinach Day. When Popeye gets an erection he sticks it in Olive Oil! Well blow me down.

    Natl Spinach Day. When Popeye gets an erection he sticks it in Olive Oil! Well blow me down.

    75
  3. It's the 1st day of spring! Ah, that time when a young man's fancy turns to PornHub.

    It's the 1st day of spring! Ah, that time when a young man's fancy turns to PornHub.

    87
  4. It's the Great American Meat out! Not what you're thinking Bill Clinton!

    It's the Great American Meat out! Not what you're thinking Bill Clinton!

    51
    1
  5. It's National Goof Off Day...which is like every other day for Congress.

    It's National Goof Off Day...which is like every other day for Congress.

    72
  6. Tomorrow is 4-20. A day to celebrate Weed and...wait, what was I talking bout? Dude!

    Tomorrow is 4-20. A day to celebrate Weed and...wait, what was I talking bout? Dude!

    72
  7. April Fools' Day: To mess with us, Biden will pronounce words correctly, & not fall down

    April Fools' Day: To mess with us, Biden will pronounce words correctly, & not fall down

    76
  8. Apple turns 48. While their average iPhone worker turns 8.

    Apple turns 48. While their average iPhone worker turns 8.

    47
  9. National Burrito Day. Your toilet will be going on strike.

    National Burrito Day. Your toilet will be going on strike.

    69
  10. NCAA Complaining about the quality of their balls." At least you still got them!"-Travis Kelce

    NCAA Complaining about the quality of their balls." At least you still got them!"-Travis Kelce

    76
  11. Lawyers Day. What do Lawyers & Sperm have in common? They both aspire to be human one day

    Lawyers Day. What do Lawyers & Sperm have in common? They both aspire to be human one day

    61
    1
  12. Hundreds got married during the eclipse preparing them for their next big event in 2045, having sex.

    Hundreds got married during the eclipse preparing them for their next big event in 2045, having sex.

    62
  13. OJ Is dead. Ginsu Knives 50% off today. That's a killer deal!

    OJ Is dead. Ginsu Knives 50% off today. That's a killer deal!

    72
  14. TAX DAY! Also known as BEND OVER DAY!

    TAX DAY! Also known as BEND OVER DAY!

    46
  15. The Ford Mustang turns 60. Q: Name another thing you can ride in their 60's? A: Madonna

    The Ford Mustang turns 60. Q: Name another thing you can ride in their 60's? A: Madonna

    60
  16. Yesterday was Earth Day. O.J. Simpson did his part by composting.

    Yesterday was Earth Day. O.J. Simpson did his part by composting.

    79
  17. Steven Spieberg (Jurassic Park) will help Biden get reelected. He's used to working with dinosaurs.

    Steven Spieberg (Jurassic Park) will help Biden get reelected. He's used to working with dinosaurs.

    67
    1
  18. It's Brothers & Sisters Day. Insert your own West Virginia Joke. You sure gots a perty mouth.

    It's Brothers & Sisters Day. Insert your own West Virginia Joke. You sure gots a perty mouth.

    77
  19. Perry's Big Ass Coloscopy Show. You're not gonna believe the sh*t I went through...literally!

    Perry's Big Ass Coloscopy Show. You're not gonna believe the sh*t I went through...literally!

    78
    1
  20. Boy Scouts change name to "Scouting America" to be more inclusive to pedophiles..

    Boy Scouts change name to "Scouting America" to be more inclusive to pedophiles..

    65
  21. Mother's Day Weekend. Or as A- Hole Woke Smugdouches call it.."Birthing Person's Day."

    Mother's Day Weekend. Or as A- Hole Woke Smugdouches call it.."Birthing Person's Day."

    101
    1
  22. Half of U.S. Women own at least 1 sex toy. No wonder Duracell stock is doing so well!

    Half of U.S. Women own at least 1 sex toy. No wonder Duracell stock is doing so well!

    66
    1
  23. Great White Shark found in Alabama. SHOCKING because it had all its teeth!

    Great White Shark found in Alabama. SHOCKING because it had all its teeth!

    71
  24. Red Lobster closing 99 restaurants 2nd only to Stormy Daniels in the number of people it gave crabs

    Red Lobster closing 99 restaurants 2nd only to Stormy Daniels in the number of people it gave crabs

    63
  25. Natl Pizza Day. Anyone who puts anchovies or pineapple as a topping will be excecuted at dawn.

    Natl Pizza Day. Anyone who puts anchovies or pineapple as a topping will be excecuted at dawn.

    110