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  1. Super Bowel Weekend! Place bets on How many bowel movements I'll have every time I see Taylor Swift.

    Super Bowel Weekend! Place bets on How many bowel movements I'll have every time I see Taylor Swift.

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  2. There's a Cucumber recall. Ladies please remove all of them from your nightstand.

    There's a Cucumber recall. Ladies please remove all of them from your nightstand.

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  3. 2/3 of Americans pee in the ocean. So that's why SpongeBob is yellow!

    2/3 of Americans pee in the ocean. So that's why SpongeBob is yellow!

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  4. Today is D Day. For Stormy Daniels "D" means remembering all the D**CKS she had.

    Today is D Day. For Stormy Daniels "D" means remembering all the D**CKS she had.

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  6. Happy Singles Awareness Day or (SAD). If you're lonely there's always the Perry Stone Blow up doll

    Happy Singles Awareness Day or (SAD). If you're lonely there's always the Perry Stone Blow up doll

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  8. Walmart will remove self-checkout kiosks. Walmart will still keep Meth in their bathrooms.

    Walmart will remove self-checkout kiosks. Walmart will still keep Meth in their bathrooms.

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  11. Clean out your fridge day. Hey Jeff Dahmer time to remove that head in the freezer! Just sayin'

    Clean out your fridge day. Hey Jeff Dahmer time to remove that head in the freezer! Just sayin'

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  12. Happy Cherry Pie Day. my favorite! And the pie ain't bad either period. Wait, What?

    Happy Cherry Pie Day. my favorite! And the pie ain't bad either period. Wait, What?

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  13. You can order my sizzling new Book "Radio Daze" at Barnes & Noble, Walmart & Amazon. Hide the kids!

    You can order my sizzling new Book "Radio Daze" at Barnes & Noble, Walmart & Amazon. Hide the kids!

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  14. Presidents' Day. If you forgot don't worry...Odds are Joe Biden did too. "You know the thing."

    Presidents' Day. If you forgot don't worry...Odds are Joe Biden did too. "You know the thing."

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  15. Welcome back StoneHead Heathens. Our New Year's resolution...deliver more debauchery!

    Welcome back StoneHead Heathens. Our New Year's resolution...deliver more debauchery!

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  16. MLK DAY. In the South it's LEE/JACKSON/MLK DAY. "WOKE" Heads are exploding across America!

    MLK DAY. In the South it's LEE/JACKSON/MLK DAY. "WOKE" Heads are exploding across America!

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  17. Honor women today! It's International women's day. Let me honor you by making me a sandwich.

    Honor women today! It's International women's day. Let me honor you by making me a sandwich.

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  18. The Natl Guard deployed to NYC to fight crime. "PLEASE deploy us to a safer place like Gaza."

    The Natl Guard deployed to NYC to fight crime. "PLEASE deploy us to a safer place like Gaza."

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  19. Daylight Saving Reminder: You're more likely to Die today. Have a nice day.

    Daylight Saving Reminder: You're more likely to Die today. Have a nice day.

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  20. Natl Girl Scout Day. I love eating brownies. And the actual brownies ain't bad either.

    Natl Girl Scout Day. I love eating brownies. And the actual brownies ain't bad either.

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  21. Natl Ken Day. Men who no longer use their Pee-Pees should donate to Ken. Thank you.

    Natl Ken Day. Men who no longer use their Pee-Pees should donate to Ken. Thank you.

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  22. Scientists say kids smell like cheese, urine, & goat reaching puberty. Then again so does Biden.

    Scientists say kids smell like cheese, urine, & goat reaching puberty. Then again so does Biden.

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  23. Happy St Paddy's Day weekend! Who wants to blow my bagpipes & Kiss my blarney stone?

    Happy St Paddy's Day weekend! Who wants to blow my bagpipes & Kiss my blarney stone?

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  24. Oh s**t! Monday must be a man because it comes to quickly!

    Oh s**t! Monday must be a man because it comes to quickly!

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  25. Easter Special. DON'T eat meat it's Good Friday! Or else God will make you constipated for a month!

    Easter Special. DON'T eat meat it's Good Friday! Or else God will make you constipated for a month!

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