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  1. Yesterday was Earth Day. O.J. Simpson did his part by composting.

    Yesterday was Earth Day. O.J. Simpson did his part by composting.

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  2. Steven Spieberg (Jurassic Park) will help Biden get reelected. He's used to working with dinosaurs.

    Steven Spieberg (Jurassic Park) will help Biden get reelected. He's used to working with dinosaurs.

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  3. It's Brothers & Sisters Day. Insert your own West Virginia Joke. You sure gots a perty mouth.

    It's Brothers & Sisters Day. Insert your own West Virginia Joke. You sure gots a perty mouth.

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  4. Boy Scouts change name to "Scouting America" to be more inclusive to pedophiles..

    Boy Scouts change name to "Scouting America" to be more inclusive to pedophiles..

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  5. Mother's Day Weekend. Or as A- Hole Woke Smugdouches call it.."Birthing Person's Day."

    Mother's Day Weekend. Or as A- Hole Woke Smugdouches call it.."Birthing Person's Day."

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  6. Great White Shark found in Alabama. SHOCKING because it had all its teeth!

    Great White Shark found in Alabama. SHOCKING because it had all its teeth!

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  7. Red Lobster closing 99 restaurants 2nd only to Stormy Daniels in the number of people it gave crabs

    Red Lobster closing 99 restaurants 2nd only to Stormy Daniels in the number of people it gave crabs

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  8. Natl Pizza Day. Anyone who puts anchovies or pineapple as a topping will be excecuted at dawn.

    Natl Pizza Day. Anyone who puts anchovies or pineapple as a topping will be excecuted at dawn.

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  9. Happy Easter. My book Radio Daze has risen from the ashes of hell!😈

    Happy Easter. My book Radio Daze has risen from the ashes of hell!😈

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  10. It's Earth Day. Joe Biden will do his part by switching to cloth diapers.

    It's Earth Day. Joe Biden will do his part by switching to cloth diapers.

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  11. Eat more fruits & veggies day. National holiday for Elton John & Joe Biden.

    Eat more fruits & veggies day. National holiday for Elton John & Joe Biden.

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  12. My book Radio Daze is burning up the book charts!🔥

    My book Radio Daze is burning up the book charts!🔥

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  13. Proposed bill in Tennessee would ban 1st cousin marriages. Well Alabama is only an hour away.

    Proposed bill in Tennessee would ban 1st cousin marriages. Well Alabama is only an hour away.

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  14. Gayle King is on the cover S.I. Swimsuit issue. She's most famous for being on Oprah

    Gayle King is on the cover S.I. Swimsuit issue. She's most famous for being on Oprah

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  15. It's Lingerie Day. I'm picturing Whoopi Goldberg yum...Damn that LSD is potent!

    It's Lingerie Day. I'm picturing Whoopi Goldberg yum...Damn that LSD is potent!

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  16. My Colonoscopy Pre-Game Warm Up. I drink the juice for the first time!

    My Colonoscopy Pre-Game Warm Up. I drink the juice for the first time!

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  17. The New York Times Reviews my book Radio Daze. I'm as giddy as Elton John at a sperm bank tasting.

    The New York Times Reviews my book Radio Daze. I'm as giddy as Elton John at a sperm bank tasting.

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  18. Happy Pi Day. Ellen DeGeneres & her wife Portia have already celebrated 5 times today.

    Happy Pi Day. Ellen DeGeneres & her wife Portia have already celebrated 5 times today.

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  19. Banana Day. The wonder fruit that taught millions of women how to, ah, well you know. Hi Kamala.

    Banana Day. The wonder fruit that taught millions of women how to, ah, well you know. Hi Kamala.

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  20. Most Obese cities are in the South. Now I know why the South hasn't risen again! It can't.

    Most Obese cities are in the South. Now I know why the South hasn't risen again! It can't.

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  21. Solar Eclipse Day! Don't look at it or else you'll go blind. Look at what happened to Stevie Wonder.

    Solar Eclipse Day! Don't look at it or else you'll go blind. Look at what happened to Stevie Wonder.

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  22. Cher is 78. Says she'll leave the country (again) if Trump is elected. How can the U.S. survive?

    Cher is 78. Says she'll leave the country (again) if Trump is elected. How can the U.S. survive?

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  23. Natl drinking with chickens day? I prefer choking the chicken while drinking.

    Natl drinking with chickens day? I prefer choking the chicken while drinking.

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  24. McDonald's new McFlurry inspired by Grandmas. Tastes like yarn, ointment, soiled diaper & decay.

    McDonald's new McFlurry inspired by Grandmas. Tastes like yarn, ointment, soiled diaper & decay.

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  25. Natl Hamburger Day. That's not real beef in your Whopper. Hey where's my cat Garfield?

    Natl Hamburger Day. That's not real beef in your Whopper. Hey where's my cat Garfield?

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