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Hark! Depart ye to Rumble to hear a true tale too gruesome to be told on the emperor's video platform. I present ye the only known existing copy of Sir Bartholomew Jackson's "Well's Closed", which tells a story of battling evil treacherous witches through the midsummer heat. Lyrics [Verse 1] We are in the midst of an heat wave But thou needst to close the well today No joke tis a serious problem Someone hath poisoned the water [Verse 2] Had to slap a witch right in the face There was rats all over the place Now the water may test positive Best close the well if thou wants to live [Chorus 1] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Bridge] Summer is hither, it can't get any hotter Yet we can't drink because there's plague in the water Don't drink if ye don't want to get the plague Don't drink lest thou art already gay [Chorus 2] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Verse 3] I caught a witch with a bag of rats She had a big nose and a pointy hat Now there's plague at the water well The witch that did this shall burn in hell [Chorus 3] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Chorus 4] Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed for today Wells closed (wells closed) Wells closed due to plague [Outro End] Block the bucket, block block the bucket Block the bucket, block block the bucket You don't want wanna get plague, b*tch!

"Tired of Your S*** (1970)" Rare funk single by singer and full time plumber Mario Stubbs. This steaming hot funk track was written by Mario in the bathroom one night after a long day at work of dealing with people's s***. Mario , who considered himself an expert in s***, told his wife to not go in the bathroom for at least 35 to 45 minutes after he wrote this song, saying quote "this may the funkiest s*** ever. Somebody open a window". Lyrics [Verse 1] You think you're so cool (so cool) You think you're real smart (so smart) You think you're the s*** (the s***) Cause you smell like a fart (Hot Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) [Verse 2] I went into the bathroom (oh no) And couldn't believe the stench (oh s***) Whatever came out of your a****** Smells worse than your breath (Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) [Bridge] (Ooh ooh ooh ooh) That smell will melt the nose right off of your face (It smells like s***) I don't know how much more of your s*** I can take Oh no! [Verse 3] You think you're so cool (so cool) You think you're real smart (so smart) You think you're the s*** (the s***) Cause you smell like a fart (Hot Damn!) [Chorus] I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) I'm tired of your s*** (tired, so tired) You've been stinking up the whole house I can taste your a** in my mouth I'm tired of your s*** (tired of your s***) Oh no no no I'm so tired of your s*** (Wipe your a**)

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #reggae #60sreggae #comedymusic JAH! Yuh crazy bald heads a guh luv dis rythm yahso. Dis song from di lgenedary reggae singa Sanka Coffie. Lawd a massi! Dis tune irie! Lyrics Jah! Oh yes! Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs [Guitar Solo] Oh yeah! You are gay Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs Jah love, Jah love Jah hates f*gs (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Guitar Solo] Oh yeah!

#hardarchive #classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy Extremely rare funk single by funk musician and pigeon keeper Vince McMann. According to the liner notes, Vince wrote this song as a self indulgent expression of his grievances with the record industry gatekeepers for banning his popular cover version of Cornelius "Backhand" Jackson's timeless classic "Don't Test Me B*tch". Lyrics [Verse 1] You can make songs all about sex Or glorify crime like playing grand theft When it comes to shitting on women I do it the best Baby! Take this steaming insult on your chest [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (Ooh yeah) [Verse 2] You can be a bitch ass simp all day long But you better not make fun of Elon If you try to put a bitch back in her place They'll delete your songs for being too based [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (Fuck yeah!) [Bridge] I'm directly over the target with this You're not allowed to say "don't test me bitch" Why do you think that song is banned? Cause the answer to our problems is a strong pimp hand (Fuck yeah!) [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] You can't let these bitches get a free pass Women and immigrants cut your wages in half Weak men being raised by single moms Now they get their feelings hurt by a fucking song [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on women (Oh yeah) [Chorus] Life just ain't worth living (ain't worth living) If I'm not allowed to shit on women (shit on women) Fuck you and your gay feminism (fuck you bitch) I can't stop (can't stop) I won't stop (won't stop) shitting on bitches (I gotta take a shit!) [Outro End] Yeah yeah yeah Fuck you, bitch

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy Never released funk single written and performed by Orange Julius for the Pulp Fiction movie soundtrack. Lyrics [Verse 1] Hello my name is Jules, nice to meet you I'm a bad mother f*cker that don't suffer no fools Can I try your burger? I missed my breakfast (damn that's good!) I need to wash this down with a tasty beverage [Chorus 1] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much You know what they call a quarter pounder over seas? They call it a royale with cheese (B*tch! Please) [Verse 2] The boss said we gotta go deliver this briefcase Why the f*ck did you just shoot Marvin in the face? If we get caught we're going to prison All because you're talking about the metric system (Sh*t!) [Chorus 2] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much If I ever go on a trip overseas I'm ordering the royale with cheese [Bridge] Does Marsellus Wallace look like a b*tch? (What?) Then why you trying to f*ck him like a b*tch? (What?) Do they speak English in what? (What?!) Why are you trying to f*ck Marsellus in the butt? (Oh sh*t!) Say what again, I dare you, I double dare you mother f*cker! [Guitar Solo] [Verse 3] I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet It's the one that says bad mother f*cker on it The truth is I am the tyranny of evil men But I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd again [Chorus 3] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much You know what they call a quarter pounder over seas? They call it a royale with cheese (B*tch! Please) [Chorus 4] A quarter pounder with cheese sounds good for lunch My girls a vegetarian so I don't eat them that much If I ever go on a trip overseas I'm ordering the royale with cheese

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #funk #70sfunk #comedy "We can rebuild her. We have the technology. We can make her better, hotter, less bitchy." Lyrics [Verse 1] Let me tell you about a new invention This robot b*tch never needs correction You can get one refurbished for a small amount You pay a lower price for a higher body count [Chorus 1] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh yeah!) [Verse 2] There's a self cleaning oven installed within So no matter where she goes, she's always in the kitchen If you want the model that doesn't complain You gotta pay extra for the mute button upgrade [Chorus 2] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh f*ck yeah!) [Bridge] I believe that we can rebuild her (rebuild her) We have the technology (f*ck yeah) We can make her better than she was before Check out our new version of the three o four [Verse 3] She's got silicon t*ts and a great a** This is the only woman in the world that can do math Hurry! Order now cause they're selling out fast Just swipe your credit card up her a** [Chorus 3] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh yeah!) [Chorus 4] Scientists made me the perfect b*tch They replaced her brain with a computer chip She talks ninety nine percent less sh*t She's the six million dollar b*tch (Oh f*ck yeah!) [End] Oh sh*t! I got the error message three o four

#classicvinyl #strictlyvinyl #vinyl #vinylrip #nostalgia #music #obscurerecords #obscurevinyl #hardarchive Hello buddy, this song is very good sir! You will like this song buddy. I will play this song again if you send bobs and vagene, buddy! Lyrics [Verse 1] You're in the wrong place You're in the wrong town You really should've stayed Cause sh*t is going down [Verse 2] You just made it here You fell for the trap Gonna build a wall So you can't go back (oh no!) [Chorus] They know it's true (oh yeah yeah yeah) But they don't want to hear You're the new slaves (oh no no no) Cause you volunteered [Verse 3] They tell you you're free So you won't escape Welcome to the zoo Hope you like your cage [Verse 4] Better pay on time The taxman won't wait You'll learn soon enough How to be a slave [Chorus] They know it's true (oh yeah yeah yeah) But they don't want to hear You're the new slaves (oh no no no) Cause you volunteered